Oh For Grace To Trust Him More

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you already know the quiet hours of the morning are my favorite time to read the Bible and pray. Right now, my office at the church is probably an oven, so I don't even bother going there. During the cold of winter, and the dead of summer, I have to avoid my office, mainly because it costs so much to heat and cool the church just for me to sit in an office. Putting in a window air conditioner works against the beauty of opening the window and hearing the sparrows as they flutter just outside of it. So, I'm writing this from the confines of my office at home.  I can't see or hear the sparrows, but I know they are still trusting God for their daily provision.  

Oh Yeah, I was talking about bible reading and prayer time. I thank God for His word, and the presence of His Holy Spirit. Without them, I don't know if I would be able to be writing this right now. It's been a tumultuous couple of months. Actually it's been a trying, and painful, and painful, and . . . well painful couple of months. It's alright for a Christian to say that. I don't know how it became unfashionable to admit to being in adverse situations, but I do know most Christians today feel as if it is sinful to admit you're in a trial. I've been in a trial for the last two months. If that's sinful, then, I've sinned. Actually, I've longed for the sparrow's perch, if for no other reason than to find those moments of peace I find there. All around me things have sped out of control. These last two months have been the leanest for work that I've had since I began being a handyman. The biggest struggle I have with that, is not being able to support the ministries I've made pledges to. If one more person tells me to have faith, I think I'm going to scream. I've been living by faith for the last eight years. Every job I get is the provision of God. Not just in some obscure way, but purely by the direction of the Holy Spirit. I don't advertise. The signs on my truck are the only advertisement I have. So, when the phone rings, I know it is a direct result of the Holy Spirit prompting someone's heart. Before the end of May, I had work scheduled through the beginning of August. Then came the cancellations. I went around shaking my head in disbelief. If the phone rang, I hesitated to answer it for fear it was another cancellation. I have to admit, my trust, and faith were tested. I was ready to go back into the job market, but I kept getting just enough work to keep afloat, even being able to go to Corpus Christi for our family reunion.

During this last two months, I've also had to endure some things I'd rather not ever deal with. Just the fact that I'm able to type once again is exciting to me. While working on a roof about two weeks ago, I tripped on my own two feet and fell while holding my tape measure. The belt clip sliced through my ring finger on my right hand. NOT FUNNY. Thankfully, I didn't fall off the roof. If I had, Glenda would have killed me. I'm only now getting full movement back in my pinky and ring finger. Praise God. It could have been worse. I thought of Psalm 91 as I climbed down the ladder.

I think the thing that rocked me the most was losing a long time friend this week to a tragic car accident. He was a loving, caring, and generous man, who I will miss greatly. He helped me to get my feet on the ground in the handyman business. The circumstances of his death were senseless. It sucked my breath away when I heard about it. There are very few men I will drop what I'm doing and go help them out, but Terry Stambaugh was one of those men. When I was starting out, and I would wonder where my next job was going to come from, Terry would call. I knew he was listening to the Holy Spirit. I look forward to meeting him on the other side of this vale.

Then to add insult to injury, one of the young ladies of our church family was in a terrible car accident yesterday morning. She survived, but with terrible injuries. To make matters worse, I have no way to go visit the family. Her father is the reason I launched out into being God-employed. Her surgery went well, and I believe God for her full recovery. Still, my prayers are with her and the family.

Then I get a phone call from Glenda telling me her dad fell last night. He's going blind, and he needs to come home with her. LONG PAUSE! Our home is not blind friendly. We have numerous steps into the house, in the house, and we live in the country. Panic!!!!!! For about five minutes. Then it happened. God's grace came over me. I won't bore you with every thing the Holy Spirit spoke into my heart, but I will share with you my Sparrow moment. Without adversity, trial, or conflict, grace can't be released into our lives. There can't be a miracle without something that demands a miracle be done. There can't be peace without a trial to make it's presence known, and we can't know trust if we don't have a reason to trust. Happiness can come from anything, but joy is the triumphant exultation of faith over the adverse circumstances of life. When grace is released into our lives, we no longer care about what brought us there, but only about Christ being THERE with us.

I don't know if tomorrow I will have another job, I don't even have the promise of tomorrow, but I do know in whom I believe, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep everything I've given to him. (Dave's paraphrase.) The big question is: What have I given him? I believe He will see me through anything that I trust him with. Nearly eight years ago, I gave him my income. My livelihood is in his hands. My health is in his hands. My dreams for tomorrow are in his hands. My father-in-law is in his hands. Like the old hymn says, “Oh for grace to trust him more.” Thank you sweet Holy Spirit for your abiding presence.