Updating the Sparrow

I am in the process of updating my blogs, and it seems only fitting that I begin with this blog. From the very beginning, the Sparrow’s Perch was intended to be a deeply personal blog about my faith life. I wanted the opportunity to share those wonderful moments of divine peace that can only be found in the Presence of God. The Sparrow’s Perch is a wonderful outlet for me, but I find myself wishing for more time to complete other endeavors. For a long time, I've been promising to let you know how the idea for the Sparrow's Perch came about. So, here it is. The idea for the Sparrow’s Perch came to me as I began to think about the end of my days upon this mortal vale, and whether I’d done anything to advance the Kingdom of God. Writing the blog has allowed me to empty myself of regrets, share experiences that might help someone else, and to declare the awesomeness of God. Most of all I wanted to impart the knowledge that there is a place in Christ where we can live in peace with this life, and the life to come. The title is based upon Psalms 91. Our Pastor encouraged us to read the Psalm as part of our daily bible reading as an encouragement to live in the peace of God. I haven’t always lived in the peace of God, and I haven’t always liked Psalms 91. As time went by, I actually began to despise the Psalm because it didn’t ring true with me. The promises seemed empty, and hollow against the harsh realities of my life. I watched in horror as people who I knew loved the Lord, suffered, became deathly ill, were left destitute, and saw their mortal tent swept away by unending storms. I became completely disheartened, refusing to read it anymore when a dear brother in the Lord fell victim to a brain tumor. I wanted to believe the promises, but battled with the reality. Then…I went to Nicaragua, and everything changed. It would take a book to explain what happened to me in Nicaragua. Suffice it to say, I was overcome with love, passion, and a sense of helplessness in the face of so much need. The circumstances in my life hadn’t changed. A matter of fact, when I came back, I came back to a home that was falling down around me, with little chance of ever having the money to repair, or build another one, but I didn’t care, because I’d seen people living in conditions much worse than mine. I came home to my wife’s vehicle refusing to start no matter what we did, with no financial means to repair, or buy another one. I wanted to be upset, but there were pastors in Nicaragua who didn’t have a vehicle at all. I also came home to a mass of credit card debt so daunting, I didn’t know if I could ever pay it off. The stuff I owned felt like chains to me, especially in light of what I saw in Nicaragua. In Nicaragua, many pastors live day to day, without many of the things I’d sold my soul to buy. It was in this moment of profound internal conflict, that I saw my own life measured in the mirror of those whose lives seem less encumbered. I had a realization of what I’d been missing for so long. I went into my office at the church, opened the window, and heard the song of the sparrows as they danced in the water on the flat roof. The undeniable truth was, I’d chosen the comfort of this life over the presence of God. It was in this moment I cried out, “God either kill me, or let me feel you once more as a raging fire in my life.” Instead, He did something I was unprepared for. He filled me with the most amazing peace I’ve ever known. The struggle was over. The sparrow had meaning to me. I understood Psalm 91 better than I ever had. So, without going verse by verse and boring you to tears, let me say this. Just imagine Moses sitting outside the Tabernacle watching the procession of offerings, which are the business of forgiveness, and spying a tiny sparrow flying into the Holy of Holies. Within the courtyard of the tabernacle, it has no fear of the fowler, it has no fear of the arrow, it has no fear of disease, or pestilence. The presence of God is not a place, it is a mindset. We can go there no matter where we are. The world may be falling down around us, our bodies may be racked with pain, wars may rage, evil may abound, but there is a place of refuge, a tent for shelter, and a fortress from the storms of life. There is a place we can live in peace with everything around us, and that place is called the Presence of God. I don’t care how long you’ve lived for Christ, or how much you think you know, if you’ve not found the place in your heart where the Presence of God is, then you are missing out on the best promises of God. Since that first trip to Nicaragua, God has continued to provide in miraculous ways. I still have a home that is falling down around my ears, my wife has a vehicle that barely runs, but we did manage to pay off all of our debt. I’ve made four trips to Nicaragua, and my wife has made two. Last year, in a moment of weakness, I questioned the need to go again. The money it takes to go is substantial in ways that I don’t want to address in this blog. As I drove home one afternoon, shortly before our last trip, I was grousing about a sudden drop off in my business. “I’ll just stop going.” I muttered. “It’s just becoming too hard.” The reply leapt into my spirit, “NO, I’ve propelled you to love, don’t shrink back.” There are so many wonderful people there, who mean so much to me. There is still work to be done, and I believe that we are still going to be a part of the work there. So, I’ll continue to go, until God impresses on me that I no longer need to go. I will run this race until my legs can’t run any longer. Now it is important to me to finish stronger than I began. There are people who need the love God has given me. There are people who need to know the meaning of the Sparrow’s Perch. At the end of our days, all that we have earned, and everything we valued is left behind. It is only what we have inside of us that will go with us through the veil. You see, that is what Moses saw, the little Sparrow could go boldly before the throne of grace, flying easily into the presence of God. The Sparrow’s Prayer; May you know the presence of God, and the joy of grace as I know it. May you know the full salvation of Christ Jesus, and live in the light of His love, free from the cares of this world. May you live in the Presence of God, and know His tender heart as I do.