Summer is here, and with it comes my sparrow friends. Across the street from my front door is a telephone line that has become a ritual meeting place for my little friends. In the morning it is fun to watch them sitting on the wire preening themselves, and fluffing their feathers in anticipation of the sun coming up. I truly don't understand what happens when a certain amount of birds get on the wire and suddenly some of them will take flight. Is there an unspoken rule as to how many birds are allowed to sit on the wire? Are sparrows sexist? Are the guy sparrows all chilling out on the wire until a female sparrow comes along? I can't help but wonder if my little sparrow friends are racist? If you don't have a specific coloring are you forced to go somewhere else? I would hate to think that is true, but...then again the evidence seems to suggest it's true.
Let me start off by saying that I'm not racist. I know the prevailing thinking is that all white people are racist, but that is another human being's idea, and they aren't mind readers. I have my reasons for not being racist, and I've shared them in the past. I grew up with a racist father, a racist grandmother, and I'm told a racist grandfather. I grew up in a southwest Texas border city where I was the minority. If someone says, "You don't know what it's like being black." I agree, no one knows what it's like being another person. Most people don't know what it's like being vertically challenged either. At 4' 11 inches tall, I've been looked down upon, teased, and physically beaten because of my height. I've been teased by every race, and every sex. Just last week a Doctor's nurse who also takes care of my 85 year old mother, casually remarked that she knew which side of the family I took after. (My mother is 4' 10") I learned early on what it is like to be stereotyped, and I rebelled against it. Sometimes it still hurts when someone points out the obvious that I'm "short", and I have to tamp down the desire to lift up their thinking. No one in this world chooses their race, sex, hair color, eye color, or any other physical trait that defines them. How we treat each other on an individual basis is what defines our character.
Sadly, the events of the last month have caused me to evaluate my views on all things pertaining to race, especially as it relates to dealing with law enforcement. As I've watched the protests, the looting, and the reactions of our political leaders, I've found myself wondering if there is anything more I can do to advance the discussions in a way that is constructive, and helpful for my community. You see, when a black man tells me that they fear for their life whenever they get in a car and go somewhere, I understand that fear well. I've seen it played out too often in every community surrounding every Air Force Base I've ever been stationed at. There wasn't a man of color that I'd served with who hadn't been pulled over at least once on their way to the base in the surrounding community. I've had black airmen under my supervision who've been late for work because a city cop didn't believe a young black airman could afford the super slick BMW they were driving. I've witnessed first hand the difference in cop's attitudes when pulling over a young black driver versus a white driver. I know police officers would like to think that they are good at hiding their prejudices, or even their instincts, but their prejudice is clearly visible to someone like me observing the interaction.
I was sickened by the video of the killing of George Floyd. As I watched it, I wanted to reach my hand through the screen and slap the daylights out of the cop sitting on his neck. The smug look on his face made me sick to my stomach, as it should anyone who has to watch a man die at the hands of another. I've heard people talking about the rap sheets of both George Floyd and Rayshard Brown, but that is no reason for them to be dead. I made myself watch the videos of both men being killed, and one thing is clear, both of them were afraid. They were afraid of the system putting them back in prison. Should George Floyd have been passing a counterfeit bill? No. Should Rayshard Brooks have been driving drunk? No! They were both doing something illegal, but neither of them should be dead because of what they did. Fear makes you do dumb things, and both men chose to resist out of fear.
I've never had to fear that I could die at the hands of a law enforcement officer should I be pulled over. I learned a long time ago how to behave when I'm pulled over, and I was pulled over a lot. At first it was because I was only 4' 11 inches tall and the local police didn't believe I was old enough to drive. Later, it was because I loved to drive fast. On the one hand, I didn't deserve to be pulled over, on the other... I needed to be pulled over.
Why am I saying all of this? Why is it important? Because of 'the little guys.'
You don't know them, and if you saw them they wouldn't mean a thing to you. They are two mixed race boys who were adopted and raised by our pastor. I've known them since...well since they were toddlers, hence the name 'little guys'. When I think of them, they aren't bi-racial. They aren't black until someone asks me. They have names, and they are good young men. They are no different to me than all of the other young men who've grown up in our small fellowship. Our little town doesn't have very many people of color (there was a time when it didn't have any.) Now, more people of color are moving to the town, and I love it. The little guys have never been 'black' to me. They are beautiful men, with loving hearts, and generous natures. One of them is in college preparing to be a missionary to Morroco, the other is in High School, and wants to be a physical therapist. In all my time of knowing them, I've never feared them, and I've never feared for them, until now.
In this little town, they are well known by the police department because our fellowship provides breakfast for our police and firemen once a month. We also allow the police department to use our fellowship hall every Christmas for their Christmas Banquet. They've seen the boys, interacted with the boys for years, and if they should ever be pulled over for doing something dumb, I'm sure the boys know what to say, and how to behave to avoid trouble.
Outside of this small town though, I would be concerned for the 'little guys. I would be worried about that one cop who has had a bad day for whatever reason. Good cops have bad days just like any other person. They could have just had a terrible argument with their spouse that didn't end in a resolution. It could be that he or she has been going through a divorce, or facing financial woes, or didn't get enough sleep, or just simply believes all people of color are doing something against the law. What I'm trying to say, in a round about way is that I don't believe any policeman puts on his or her uniform with the intent to kill someone. The problem is, they have the weapons, and they aren't mindless machines. They bring their personal lives to any interaction whether they realize it, or not. You can be sure that there are days they shouldn't even be out there. The 'little guys' have never had to deal with that before, and as they leave the warm cozy confines of our little town, I worry that they might have to.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-cop, nor do I support the organization called 'Black Lives Matter.' I've read their agenda, and it is a leftist diatribe, not a defense of black lives. However, I do believe black lives matter. I believe that they matter before they are born, while they are children, and as they grow up. My faith in Christ lifts me above my carnal nature, and gives me the ability to love beyond skin color. What angers me more is that I have to use 'they' to talk about the little guys as if 'they' are different. This goes against everything I was taught as a young airman during my years in the Air Force. I can still see the pained look on a black SSgt's face as he told me; "Stop referring to us as 'they', 'them', 'you folk', or 'your people." After that, I worked hard to purge my thinking of any racial tropes I'd learned. Still, racial issues are hard to deal with, then you couple that with the coronavirus, a hot summer, prisoners released due to the virus, and you have the stew we're all cooking in right now. I don't want to see one more person of color die at the hands of the police unless it is absolutely clear that the person is a danger to the policeman or to others. More than anything I want the 'little guys' to be safe. They don't have a clue. I know their dad has taught them , and I know that they are good kids, but I've just seen too many people die lately. I've grown weary of the killing, and the reasons for it. Yes, I know all the statistics about black on black killing, and that police kill just as many or more white people than blacks. These are useless numbers when you are putting a loved one in a grave. It means nothing to a grieving family. Just because someone has a rap sheet doesn't make them evil. I believe in redemption, and the possibility for anyone to become better than they are. When someone dies, that path to redemption is over.
So, I think you can understand when I tell you that I don't know if my little sparrows are racists. I'm convinced that something makes them jump up, and fly away. If I had more patience I might sit down and make notes as to whether it was something to do with coloration, or it could be something to do with size. That's it in a nutshell though, do we take the time to look at our interactions with people of color? Do people of color take the time to think about their interactions with white people? I think we humans have the capacity to be better than sparrows, and we should be, on the other hand, I have to wonder if we can be. Till then, I'll continue to pray for the 'little guys', and every person of color who deserves to live without fear.
