If you've been reading this blog for
any length of time, you already know the quiet hours of the morning
are my favorite time to read the Bible and pray. Right now, my
office at the church is probably an oven, so I don't even bother
going there. During the cold of winter, and the dead of summer, I
have to avoid my office, mainly because it costs so much to heat and
cool the church just for me to sit in an office. Putting in a window
air conditioner works against the beauty of opening the window and
hearing the sparrows as they flutter just outside of it. So, I'm writing this from the confines of my office at home. I can't see or hear the sparrows, but I know they are still trusting God for their daily provision.
Oh Yeah, I was talking about bible
reading and prayer time. I thank God for His word, and the presence
of His Holy Spirit. Without them, I don't know if I would be able to
be writing this right now. It's been a tumultuous couple of months.
Actually it's been a trying, and painful, and painful, and . . . well
painful couple of months. It's alright for a Christian to say that.
I don't know how it became unfashionable to admit to being in
adverse situations, but I do know most Christians today feel as if it
is sinful to admit you're in a trial. I've been in a trial for the
last two months. If that's sinful, then, I've sinned. Actually,
I've longed for the sparrow's perch, if for no other reason than to
find those moments of peace I find there. All around me things have
sped out of control. These last two months have been the leanest for
work that I've had since I began being a handyman. The biggest
struggle I have with that, is not being able to support the
ministries I've made pledges to. If one more person tells me to have
faith, I think I'm going to scream. I've been living by faith for
the last eight years. Every job I get is the provision of God. Not
just in some obscure way, but purely by the direction of the Holy
Spirit. I don't advertise. The signs on my truck are the only
advertisement I have. So, when the phone rings, I know it is a
direct result of the Holy Spirit prompting someone's heart. Before
the end of May, I had work scheduled through the beginning of August.
Then came the cancellations. I went around shaking my head in
disbelief. If the phone rang, I hesitated to answer it for fear it
was another cancellation. I have to admit, my trust, and faith were
tested. I was ready to go back into the job market, but I kept getting just enough work to keep afloat, even being able to go to Corpus Christi
for our family reunion.
During this last two months, I've also
had to endure some things I'd rather not ever deal with. Just the
fact that I'm able to type once again is exciting to me. While
working on a roof about two weeks ago, I tripped on my own two feet
and fell while holding my tape measure. The belt clip sliced through
my ring finger on my right hand. NOT FUNNY. Thankfully, I didn't
fall off the roof. If I had, Glenda would have killed me. I'm only
now getting full movement back in my pinky and ring finger. Praise
God. It could have been worse. I thought of Psalm 91 as I climbed
down the ladder.
I think the thing that rocked me the
most was losing a long time friend this week to a tragic car
accident. He was a loving, caring, and generous man, who I will miss
greatly. He helped me to get my feet on the ground in the handyman
business. The circumstances of his death were senseless. It sucked
my breath away when I heard about it. There are very few men I will
drop what I'm doing and go help them out, but Terry Stambaugh was one
of those men. When I was starting out, and I would wonder where my
next job was going to come from, Terry would call. I knew he was
listening to the Holy Spirit. I look forward to meeting him on the
other side of this vale.
Then to add insult to injury, one of
the young ladies of our church family was in a terrible car accident
yesterday morning. She survived, but with terrible injuries. To
make matters worse, I have no way to go visit the family. Her father
is the reason I launched out into being God-employed. Her surgery
went well, and I believe God for her full recovery. Still, my
prayers are with her and the family.
Then I get a phone call from Glenda
telling me her dad fell last night. He's going blind, and he needs
to come home with her. LONG PAUSE! Our home is not blind friendly.
We have numerous steps into the house, in the house, and we live in
the country. Panic!!!!!! For about five minutes. Then it happened.
God's grace came over me. I won't bore you with every thing the
Holy Spirit spoke into my heart, but I will share with you my Sparrow
moment. Without adversity, trial, or conflict, grace can't be
released into our lives. There can't be a miracle without
something that demands a miracle be done. There can't be peace
without a trial to make it's presence known, and we can't know trust
if we don't have a reason to trust. Happiness can come from
anything, but joy is the triumphant exultation of faith over the
adverse circumstances of life. When grace is released into our
lives, we no longer care about what brought us there, but only about
Christ being THERE with us.
I don't know if tomorrow I will have
another job, I don't even have the promise of tomorrow, but I do know
in whom I believe, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep
everything I've given to him. (Dave's paraphrase.) The big question
is: What have I given him? I believe He will see me through
anything that I trust him with. Nearly eight years ago, I gave him
my income. My livelihood is in his hands. My health is in his
hands. My dreams for tomorrow are in his hands. My father-in-law is
in his hands. Like the old hymn says, “Oh for grace to trust him
more.” Thank you sweet Holy Spirit for your abiding presence.
