I'm saying goodbye to the Sparrow's Perch.  Actually I just won't be writing on this blogspot any more.  I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm tired of writing.  There used to be a time when writing was therapeutic for me.  I used to be able to sit at my computer and write away my frustrations and aggravations, but the weight of my mother's death, and the long year leading up to it took a lot out of me.  Sometimes I think it would have been more merciful if she'd died quickly in a tragic, and senseless accident.  Instead, I watched her slowly fade and disappear before my eyes.  Now, I'm seeing the same thing with my father.  

This man who was once larger than life, amazingly strong, physically resilient, and filled with unending energy has become an empty shell with very little left of what he once was.  The recliner has become his home.  He walks slower than a toddler, and can barely get to his feet from a chair.  Dressing himself is fraught with the threat of falling or injury from moving locked up joints. He is suffering from dementia just as my mother did. He doesn't remember to take his medicine, and worst of all he forgets his insulin. All of this is familiar territory from when I took care of my mom.  The weight of his decline is heavier than I thought it would be. There isn't any joy in writing, and sadly, writing is the last thing I want to do. When I sit down to my computer I feel helpless against the ravages of time, and what it is doing to my Dad.  Perhaps, I'm feeling the pressure of time on myself.

Sometimes I wonder if dementia is the way we jettison those things that are burdens. Other times I think it is a cruel joke on those who you've loved, and still love you. As I watched my mother disappear slowly before my eyes, I would often question God's plan, and purpose. That's not to say I've lost my faith in God, nor have I changed my views on the provision of God. I still believe there is a secret place with God that we have access to by the cross of Christ.  What's changed is my need to publish my thoughts about that place.  This planet is a small little rock, going around an ordinary sun that exists on the outer rim of a nondescript  galaxy in a massive universe. There are more exotic places in the universe, but they could not be the cradle of life that we see here on our nondescript planet we call home.  Billions, maybe trillions of sparrows have flown through the skies of this earth from its creation till now. Time marches on, and our lives flow ever onward like a river to the sea. This moment will be over as I type out these words, and we will have spun ever so perceptively in our journey through this universe. What few people have sat down to read my blogs will soon pass this vale, as I am destined to. When I'm gone from this vale, my place in this universe will be remembered for the briefest of time by those who loved me, and knew me.  Perhaps they'll hold fond memories of me, but for the most part, I suspect that my mother's words will ring true; People don't think about you near as much as you think they do.  

There are many things I wish I'd done through the years, but expedience, fear, and practicality prevented me from doing them. Some of those things I'm truly glad I did not do. There is no place more exotic than home, and no place that you can discover greater things than your own backyard.  I've been to three continents, seen technological wonders that many people have only dreamed about, and been a participant in events that were reserved for a handful of men, and women.  When I pass this vale, they will be gone.  David Bragg will be forgotten, and my achievements lost to the ravages of time.  As I watched the sparrows flit, and fly from place to place, I became aware that it is only this moment that matters.  

So with that thought in mind, I will lay aside my metaphoric pen, and let my musings die with me when I pass this vale. 

TIRED

 It's not quite spring here in Harrison, Arkansas, but you wouldn't know it for the beautiful spring like weather.  Only a few days ago we had a beautiful snow that covered the surrounding area with a wonderful blanket of white.  Since my mother's death in late October of last year, I've been keeping a watchful eye on my 86 year old father.  I go to his house every morning to ensure he's alive, to medicate him, and feed him.  Every morning we sit at the breakfast nook and watch the birds as they devour the morning supply of birdseed I throw out for them.  I try to keep the birdbath filled but it got cracked during one of the really cold days we had this winter. It doesn't hold water for more than an hour, but it is long enough for the sparrows, and wrens to enjoy a quick splash.  As I watch the parade of birds it becomes apparent that the sparrows don't stand much of a chance against their larger cousins like robins, doves, starlings, and then of course the bluebird, which is really a bully.  Dad and I watch this show every morning because my Mom enjoyed it so much. It goes a long way to connecting us since her passing.  He often remarks about the little finches that they were mom's favorite.  Occasionally a hummingbird will fly in and enjoy their special feeder, only to be frightened away as other birds zip in and out.  It is a fascinating spectacle that plays out amidst the cruelty of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and a host of other world crisis that fill our news feeds, and media.  

I'm tired of the bloodshed. More so now, than I've ever been before.  Having just passed my 67th year upon this vale, I've seen more war than I care to see.  As a member of the Air Force during the 80's, and early nineties, I even helped to make war. This is something I'm not proud of anymore.  Actually, I often think to myself that no army in this world should contain men under the age of 60.  There is a wisdom in years, that knows there are no real winners in a war.  Yet, here we are facing the threat of another world war whose roots can be found in the stupidity of generations past.  

I'm tired of bullies like Putin, who take what they want, and deprive others of what they need all in the interest of something that is transitory at best.  Just within this week I've heard Putin invoke the threat of nuclear war, and China somehow invoked the same threat in it's measured march to invade Taiwan.  Every news media report I watch or read, seems to fear the Russian threat of Nuclear war.  Where is the response from our leaders?  We didn't threaten Russia with nuclear war.  We haven't threatened China with Nuclear war.  These are like the robins and blue jays that attack the little sparrows trying to get at the abundant supply of feed I've thrown out to them.  

I'm tired of the suffering of civilians no matter where they're at, being caught in the cross-hairs of some demented mind trying to subjugate others to their will.  I'm tired of it all, and I long for someone to stand up to their cruelty.  You see, as tired as I am of the bloodshed, and war, it is painfully obvious that those who wield power, want more.  What are we to do?  How can good men do something?  How can the gentle of heart withstand the cruelty of the bloodthirsty?  At what point do good men wishing to defend goodness become just as brutal as those who begin a conflict?  There was a time in our nation's history when we were forgiving to those who launched attacks against us.  Germany, Japan, Russia, and even China eventually benefited from American good will once a conflict was over.  

Ukraine was never a physical threat to Russia, but Ukraine has vast quantities of oil both in their borders, and offshore.  Add to that, they also have a warm water port that Russia needs if it is to become a dominant world power again.  This is the 'seed' that Putin wants, and because he can intimidate, and threaten with the most terrifying power on earth, he will probably get it.  It is a matter of historical fact, that the powerful can never have enough power. I'm tired of that being the course of human history.  Putin isn't the only one with nuclear weapons, and perhaps President Biden should man up and remind Putin and Xi of that.  I was in elementary school that last time a President actually stood up to a bully.  Is there a threat of nuclear war?  Yes, but do you really think Putin would do it?  Are we playing poker, or chess? 

You see, as I watch the drama playing out in the media, I'm reminded that cruelty exists even in the innocent lives of sparrows.  The other day I saw something I'd never seen before. I watched a Robin strutting up to the feed box, and drive away the little sparrows that were eating there. It made me so angry I reached over and tapped on the window. The robin flew off, but the sparrows stayed there unaffected.  If we would learn one simple lesson from the sparrow that lives in the shelter of the Almighty, war would be far from us. If we would place more value on doing good, instead of getting good, we would find our rest in the nurture and care of the Most High.  The blue-jays, the robins, the mockingbirds, had nothing until I threw out the food for them.  There is plenty, and will continue to be plenty from a hand that has nothing to gain from their petty little squabbles.  Everything we enjoy upon this earth comes from the Father's hands.  Every good gift is his desire for us.  When every last drop of oil is pumped from beneath our feet, we will find another way to live out our days until this universe is rolled up like a scroll, and put away.  I'm tired of people who don't understand that.