TIME AND SPARROWS

I've often wondered if the little sparrows out in my yard are aware of time.  Do they mark their days by how long they have lived, or how many days they have left?   Do they mark their days at all?  Are we the only creatures on this planet who are aware of time?  We are obsessed with time, and it influences every aspect of our lives.  Almost midway through my sixth generation on this earth, I'm keenly aware of time. Both of my male grandparents died in their early sixties, and I've lived longer than both of them.  Do I have enough time left on this vale to do the things I dreamed of doing as a young man?  As I watch the sparrows flitting around in my front yard, I find myself wondering how old each one is.  I've learned to tell the difference between male and females by the coloration of their heads, but I don't have a clue as to how old a sparrow is.  I did some research and found out that sparrows have a life expectancy of three to five years in the wild.  I was shocked when I found that out.  Then again, I don't think they are concerned about it.  You never see bird sized Mylar balloons tied to a limb above the nest declaring the residents birthday.  Is time only important to us?

Why is time important to us? Everything we do on this earth is measured in time.  I love to ask pre-schoolers how old they are.  They usually respond with a corresponding number of fingers and then for some inexplicable reason they will add a fraction to their declaration.  "I'm three and a half!" With the half being important in a way that I don't understand.  I probably did when I was three and a half, but not now.  Time moves so quickly now at this point in my life, I quickly add the next year just a couple of months after my birthday.  So much of how we live on this planet is governed by time.  We are paid for a combination of our skills and time, with the true value being time.  Without fail, I've watched those who are paid a salary eventually do the math to discover what their time is worth.  Even doctors and lawyers measure their services in time.  At the end of our days, the march of time has been the measure of worth. 

As Christians we have a unique view of time.  We are keenly aware of the history that proceeded us, and we are hopeful of the eternity that will follow our departure from this vale.  We even have mental imagery of our eternal home framed from a few words in a book that very few seem to believe in any more.  Yet, at the end of our days I've watched Christians cling to this life as if it were the only existence they'll ever know.  It isn't an accident that the best medical treatments, and hospitals are in predominantly Christian nations.  Christians value life, and for some strange reason we are focused on making it last as long as possible. Whether the scientists, and doctors who practice medicine believe in God or not, the people they treat do. 

I had a good friend in the Lord present a graphic that has ministered to me time and again.  He used our video projector to show a small dot in the center of the screen.  He made the statement that he wanted that dot to represent a lifetime of 90 years.  If he zoomed in, the dot soon filled the screen.  At first you could see the pixels at the edge of the dot, and then nothing but a black screen.  Then as he zoomed out, the dot completely disappeared.  Zooming out is the same as viewing our lives through eternity.  Of the billions and billions of lives that have filled this earth, there are very few who have achieved immortality by being remembered throughout the eons of time.  Yet, for the Christian we believe in immortality even if we aren't remembered by those who follow us. This life should be measured by how we love in the few short days we have on this vale.  Our mistakes, successes, and our dreams have but a few moments to shine in this tent we live in.  I believe that in the long run, love is the only thing that conquers time.  It was God's love for us that brought us into existence, and it is His love that takes us into the future.  Time is not a captor, jailer, or measure of our value.   We look for the day when time is of no consequence to us and all the good we did will be revealed.  That is our hope.

I have no great feats that I've done upon this vale.  As far as I know, I've not saved one life through my actions.  I can count on the fingers of two hands the number of souls that I've personally led to a knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Sure I've preached and seen people come up and give their lives to serve Jesus, but there is a difference.  If I'm remembered at all after I'm gone, I want to be remembered as a teacher of men.  I want to someday be walking on whatever heavenly street I live on and have someone come up to me and say; 'because of you, I know Jesus.'  That will be worth it for me. 

You see, from the moment I was conceived, I was dying.  Time came to me, and when I leave, time will go on.  I have no desire to live forever upon this ragged earth.  This vale is too cruel, and of late, it appears to be more so.  I am weary of the killing, and cruelty I see.  I'm weary of the hatred toward one another just because of where you were born.  I am weary of the anger, and struggle between ideas that we all want to enforce upon another.  Despite my weariness, I'm happy to be alive.  I'm thrilled to still have a choice.  That is why I believe in Christianity, it is a choice.  You don't have to agree with me, because you don't have to believe.  It may insult you that I believe in a better place for those who believe in Jesus Christ, but in the end why does it offend you?  Is it because you're not sure eternity awaits you?  There's the rub!!!! 
No one can be sure.  Even the most devout atheist has to believe there isn't a God, and because it is a belief, it also means, you aren't sure.  You don't have empirical evidence.  Sad isn't it?  Time marches on, and in the end the lingering question is; "is there more to life than this?" Once I pass this vale, why would I care enough to come back and prove there is more?  Can I come back?  Christians have those answers, but they require faith.  It's almost laughable, if it wasn't so sad.  I don't believe this life is all there is, I can't even do a 'what if'.  When I lay this mortal tent aside, I will have lived well, and loved as well as I could.  I have done nothing worthy of eternal remembrance, but this earth isn't immortal.  It too will be rolled up like a scroll and our dying sun will destroy it in a fiery death throe.  Still the universe will go on.  My life will be just another small breath in billions breathed upon this doomed planet. Eternity will be a celebration of lives lived, yes even mine.  My dot in the frame of eternity will be happy.  I will go to my grave, happy, and wake happy. 

I don't know if there is an eternity for sparrows.  Now that I know they have short life spans, my heart breaks for them.  How old is the plump little guy who's working his way beneath my Clematis right now?   Will he be here next spring?   Will I?     

Time will tell.

THE AMAZING

With all of my years of writing this blog, I don't think I've ever disparaged my little sparrows.  They go about their short lifetimes flitting from place to place, chittering and chattering, without a clue that they are a source of entertainment for one little old man.  I never see their nests, but I know they have young.  I never know their names, but they seem to know one another.  They live out their lives without worry or fear of whether they will have enough to eat, or whether they have the latest...whatever is the latest in sparrow life.  Human beings seem to be the only creatures who concern themselves with the next moment in life.  No matter how many movies Hollywood tries to make showing animals talking or going about their lives, they are actually reflecting us.  We are amazing creatures! Apparently unique in our approach to life.  We are the only creatures that seem to demonstrate the amazing capacity for love.

The kind of love I'm talking about is not affection, devotion, lust, or loyalty.  These traits are commonly attributed to animals, and we see them at work every day in our pets.  My wife has a dog, I don't.  It's her dog, and I purposely let it imprint upon her.  We've given Bea  a home now for ten years, and she is a daily part of Glenda's life.  Bea brings Glenda joy, and a sense of purpose that disappeared when our children became adults and moved away from home.  Bea does funny things that I interpret through my human lens, but I do know one thing, she doesn't love Glenda the way that Glenda loves her.  Human love is amazing!

Love is THE amazing!  I'm often saddened when I see the word love misused in movies, and in music.  Love gets confused with lust, infatuation, interest, and host of other character traits in our modern society.  Even Christians who proclaim their belief in the embodiment of love in Christ miss the mark.  Our failure to understand love isn't because we don't have examples, it's because real love demands that WE die.  Real love stands above selfish concerns, and places the needs of another above ourselves.  Sadly, I know I haven't arrived there, yet.  No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I never seem to move in 'The Amazing' as I see others do.  I know why, it's because of fear.  The bible tells us that 'perfect love casts out fear', but I watch myself become a victim to fear every day, even when I don't want to. 

Today, I see fear mongering in every aspect of our lives.  Fear dominates our politics, businesses, and most of our relationships.  One thing that alerts me to when love is not the main factor in someone's life is when they say; "But what about me?"  The minute I hear that statement in its many variations, I cringe.  They've lost sight of the amazing!  The minute we begin to wonder if someone around us got more than we did, or received something we didn't, then we've embraced fear and abandoned the amazing.  When we're worried that the guy next to us got a raise and we didn't, we've abandoned the amazing.  Fear is the thief that robs us of the amazing. 

When we are young hormonal animals, we often confuse love with lust.  The amazing gets replaced with passion, and passion becomes the driving force.  As the premarital counselor for our faith fellowship, I know that passion and lust are the operating factors in the choice of a spouse. As I counsel these young people I try to warn them that the passion they feel now will diminish.  I warn them that they shouldn't make the ordinary normal function of reproduction the measuring stick for the amazing.

There never seems to be a consequence for throwing ourselves at one another until it produces the fruit of our lusts.  For, while we are creatures capable of amazing love, we are also capable of reproducing that love in the form of children.  Then we truly discover The Amazing, and many like myself, realize that we were not prepared for the amazing gift of life entrusted to us.  It is from that point on, when we hold the consequences of our passions, that we realize we are looking at the amazing. 

Not long ago, I had a DNA test given to me for a Christmas present.  I did the test, and have had my eyes opened to the power of the amazing.  I won't say how many, and I won't say how they are connected to me, but I've been contacted by a lot of people wanting to know why my DNA showed up in their list of matches.  Most of the time, it is people who were given up for adoption looking for their parents.  One question I ask is if the adopted person had good adoptive parents, and almost all of the time the answer is yes.  I think the bigger question these people are asking is; 'Why wasn't I amazing enough to keep?'  'Why would they abandon me like that?'  See what I mean by fear stealing love.  It didn't matter that they were loved by complete strangers who chose to make them a part of their lives.  It seems to only matter why they were rejected.  No matter how I try to help them find whatever parent they are missing, I know they are looking for 'The Amazing.'   They are looking for love! 

Because this blog is always about the peace of God, let me say clearly that true love brings peace. I've only ever been at peace when I've been embraced in love, or giving love.  That is the power of the amazing!  Without love there can't be peace, because there is no fear in love.  Fear never has peace, but thankfully love will truly conquer all.  We just have to let it. 

The Secret to Happiness

There is a secret to being happy.    It isn't free health care, free college, free lunches, free houses, or anything politicians try to tell you will make you happy.  The secret to happiness isn't in money, things, or even in great power.  The secret to happiness is being content.  Personally, I believe if more of us subscribed to contentment, it cold help improve the lives of people everywhere.  Happiness isn't found just in Christianity, although I believe it goes a long way to making a difference. 
Though I profess Christ, and live for my faith,  the happiness that comes from contentment isn't in Christ either. I've seen too many people live happily without a faith in Christ to make it a prerequisite for happiness. At the same time I've seen far too many Christians living lives devoid of contentment, and wracked with despair.  So, why am I writing about the secret to happiness in a blog dedicated to a profession in Jesus Christ?
The answer to that question is simple; I don't want to see my brothers and sisters in Christ looking for happiness in places that will not bring them any joy. 
If you use a clinical description of happiness, you will discover it is fleeting in it's duration, but so powerful in it's force, that it makes everyone of us seek to be happy for but just a moment.  Happiness is such a powerful emotion we look for ways to induce it.  Within this need for happiness is the root of almost all of our addictions.  Our bodies betray us because the 'high' from being happy is like nothing else we experience. The need to be happy whether through artificial means, or through natural means, can lead us into the depths of despair if we aren't careful.  That doesn't mean our need for happiness is completely destructive.  The 'arts' are born out of happiness.  Games, comedies, jokes, hobbies, and yes, even storytelling in its many varied forms are a means to happiness.  Sadly, the flood of hormones that accompanies true happiness is limited in its ability to be sustained for long periods of time. The greatest sorrow is when we live our lives in search of happiness instead of yielding to the joy found in every moment.  When jobs, marriages, homes, cars, and the accessories of life become the driving force for satisfaction we miss the moments within ourselves that bring true happiness.  This opens the door for disappointment, sorrow, and grief, which are far more easily sustained. Somehow, in the rush for a new 'happy' high, we leave the real source of happiness behind.  This is true whether we are rich or poor, Christian or non-Christian.  When contentment eludes us, happiness quickly flees. 
Over my lifetime I've seen great men and women of God become lost and empty vessels devoid of joy, peace or happiness.  Christians can easily be fooled into believing that a ministry, study, or even a cause will bring them happiness.  Ministries can push you beyond your purpose in Christ into fears of failure fueled by the minister's comparison of their life with those of more successful ministries. People who feel bible study, or the search for spiritual truth can bring  happiness often fail to discover that happiness, allowing the study itself to rob them of the joy found in living in the joy of the moment.  Probably the worst thief of happiness among Christians is the need to defend their faith or advance that faith into secular causes.  I've seen too many good Christians become enslaved to the angrier side of their passions to the point they hate the very people God has called us to reach.
Happiness is found in being content with forgiveness, and forgiving.  This is the simple power we all carry within us, but it is the springboard for more joy than you can contain.  So much of what I'm seeing in the news media today is driven by a failure to forgive, and let go.  Then again, I know we can become consumed by our passions to the point where happiness is driven far from us.  Political, cultural, religious, and ethnic diversity are important things when it comes to aligning ourselves in tribes. Belonging to a tribe can be a great source of joy and happiness, but if we allow them to exclude us from tolerance, and contentment,  they can suck the happiness out of our lives.  You hear a lot these days about 'diversity' but it seems the more diverse we attempt to be as a nation, the more unhappy we become.  Diversity robs us of happiness by building walls of 'difference,' and before you know it, you don't have the happiness that comes from tolerating people who are different from you.  "Intersectionality" is a word you hear a lot about lately because of the 'diversity' craze.  It's the moment when the goals of one 'diverse' group conflicts with the goals of another.  Someday, when the dust settles from this crazy need to be unique, we'll wonder how we allowed ourselves to be so overcome with the celebration of diversity. Instead of celebrating our humanity, we become obsessed with defending our uniqueness.  At one point or another 'diversity' will bring you into conflict with another diverse person.  This is why I said that many Christians aren't happy.  Tolerance, which is simply forgiving another person for being different from you, is rarely practiced among denominations.  It's the result of hundreds of years of conditioning, and is often based on tribalism, and in that alone, the fear of losing a unique identity. 
Contentment speaks of true faith.  I've seen it in the lives of those in foreign countries less prosperous than the United States.  I've seen happiness in children's laughter everywhere I've been.  That is why I can say that happiness isn't found in things, money, or power.  Happiness is found in any moment you choose to savor and enjoy.   I see it in my simple enjoyment of the sparrows that are carrying on outside my front door.  I don't know why it brings me so much joy to look out my storm door and watch the antics of these tiny little creatures who inhabit my front yard.  All I know is that they bring a smile to my face, which is usually a clue that I'm happy.  It won't last for long, I'll have to close the door because it's getting colder, and they'll have to carry on without my observing them, but they will carry on.  That brings another smile to my face. 

SOMEDAY IS HERE

There are two places I can never be, the past, and the future.  Yet, these two places rule our lives.  As I'm typing this, the NOW is unfolding with each keystroke, even as I attempt to frame the future of my words.  My written sentences, are nothing more than my fingers trying to keep up with the future my brain is speaking.  Somewhere in between the minute measurable moments, is the immeasurable NOW.  Living in the moment is what God intended for us at creation.  I know a lot of people point to the fairy tale idea of the Garden of Eden as being a time of naive existence without fear of death. Nothing is further from the truth.  Our first recorded human conversation proves that there was already knowledge of death.  Satan asks the woman; Did God say you could eat of every tree in the garden?
The woman replies; No, we can't eat of the one I'm looking at right now. If I do, I will die.  (David's paraphrase)  Satan didn't inform her of death (the future) and she understood what God had said, (the past).  The past is remembered for a purpose, to inform the now, and to shape the future.  Without the past, (our memories) we can't safely negotiate the now.  Someday (the future) beckons us forward, while at the same time, the past shapes our path to someday.  Because our days are numbered and our opportunities to affect change are limited by time, we often spend that time trying to live in the two places we can't be. 
Why am I saying all of this?   Because of the conflict I wrote about in my last blog.  As I go through this process, I'm trying to discover how to live in the now.  The situation I'm in was not of my creation.  I simply stepped into the echoes of the past.  That past, not of my own creation, holds the power to affect my future in a powerful way.  God placed that past in my hands, and inexorably the lives and loves of a great deal of people. That past threatens the future of many of those I love.  Finding the key to binding up the power of the past has been my struggle over the past few months.  Every day I ask God to help the people affected by this situation to find peace and enjoy love.  I stand outside the situation, but at the same time I'm like a little boat in the eye of a hurricane.  I can see the possibility of devastation, but seem to be in this place where all is calm.  Notice I didn't say I'm at peace.  The peace of God, is a place I have to stand in regardless of the storms around me.  I have to be like the writer of the song; "It is well."  Even though the waves are rolling and my little ship is being tossed, I can look out over the scene of my life and say; It is well.  At the same time, that little word IF is trying to control my future in a way I can't discern.  So, I choose to live in the now.  That place of peace where even though I can see the storm around me, it doesn't cause me to fear. 
The future is filled with 'if' and the past is filled with the residue of past choices, as well as the collisions with other people's choices.  I heard a person preach a sermon about consequences, and the power of our choices.  The tone of the message was entirely judgmental, and unforgiving.  Our choices, good or bad, do have consequences, but some bad choices can also lead to good things.  (I know that sounds almost heretical.)  Remember the story of Joseph?  His brothers planned to kill him, but sold him into slavery instead. (Bad choice.) They lied to their father and said Joseph was killed by an animal. (Bad choice.)  Through many trials and a lot of Godly intervention, Joseph eventually became the salvation of Egypt, and his brothers.  His statement to them is one of my favorite passages.  'What was meant for evil has been for good.'
The past doesn't always inform the future.  That is the secret of God's redemption and forgiveness.  What I've learned this week, that is different from my last blog, is that I was given this moment, this NOW, to live in regardless of the past, and without fear of the future.  What I am responsible for is doing the right thing, the good thing, even if it appears bad to others.  There are moments when doing the right thing will injure others, or cause them pain.  That is why God didn't want us to know the knowledge of good and evil.  We've made His laws and commandments about us, when the truth is the complete opposite.  The knowledge of good and evil is how we treat one another, and how we view the past and future. That is where GRACE comes in.  Grace is the doorway to peace.  Paul would often open or close his letters to the churches with the salutation of 'grace and peace be with you.'   Notice that grace had to come before peace.  God's grace, the ability to overcome in any situation, is sufficient for me.  Live RIGHT now, and neither the past nor the future can bind you. 

TRUTH

It's a wonderful Wednesday morning, and for those who know me well, Wednesday is like Friday in most peoples lives.  I look forward to Wednesday night services, because they are usually populated with people seeking to worship and grow in spiritual knowledge.  So, for that reason alone, I'm feeling excited about this day.   It's five in the morning, I'm sitting with my laptop in my recliner.  Glenda has left for work, and I have the house to myself.  This is my quiet time for writing emails, blogs, or editing my book I'm writing.  It's that wonderful time of year when I can open a window or a door and let the cool crisp air flow in from the outside.  It's just a little muggier than I like, but getting the stuffiness out of the room feels good.  

Sadly, the sparrows haven't awakened yet.  It's peaceful and calm outside.  

I don't usually use this blog to comment on political matters, because they are usually filled with the strife of people trying to exert influence over others through whatever means necessary.  Politics is the arena of human nature.  It is a place where peace rarely rests its hat.  Within the United States the two political forces can be summed up in simple ideology.  Those who claim to be liberal, want everyone to believe that all people are inherently good and that everyone has worth.  If you don't agree with their view, you are inherently evil, and have no worth.  They cling to a view that everyone will eventually grow into a cosmic whole of love, peace, and unity of purpose.  They (the left) are convinced that if we would all come to accept and believe what they believe, the world would be a better place. If you don't agree with that view, you are unworthy of human status.  

On the other end of that spectrum is the view that everything has to stay as it is, without question, without variation, without a hint of change.  Nothing changes, all is as it was, and people who want to change are frightening.  The radical right is defined by castes, cliques, and clubs.  If you don't agree with us, you are subversive, and destructive.  It is predicated upon the view that all people are incapable of making proper choices and should be directed into purpose as they define it.  

Both extremes of the political spectrum have committed evil in the propagation of their beliefs.  

With that said, I'm going to dip my toe into the political firestorm of the Judge Kavanaugh affair.  I hope this will be the first and last time I do something like this with this blog.  Why?  Because, there is a need for something more valuable than political purposes here. With a view to transparency (Is there any really needed here?) I am an evangelical conservative Christian.  For me, Judge Kavanaugh is someone I can support.  Although, he is Catholic, his conservative views are in line with what I hold.  Yet, there is one value yet to be validated.  Truth!

As anyone who has read my blogs knows, I am all about peace.  Not peace as men know it, but peace as given by a loving creator.  That peace transcends spiritual matters into the affairs of men.  I could go through a long list of spiritual matters that will not transcend into human affairs, because without a relationship with God, they hold no import.  However, TRUTH is one of those things that determine justice, and in turn affects peace.  Without truth, their is conflict in every aspect of life.  I realize some cultures value cunning, and deception.  Without deception of one kind or another, I truly believe humans would obliterate one another.  As humans, we withhold truth in order to maintain relationship, and we believe we have peace.  At a personal level, if we knew what people really believed about us, we would become murderous, and isolated.  Perhaps, that is why God didn't give us His ability to know what another person is thinking.  So, when I say truth brings peace, I am saying truth in as far as people resolving conflict.

So, what do we as Christians do when we are confronted with what we see in the current state of affairs between a nominated Judge, and an accusing woman.  WE SEEK TRUTH.  

For one thing, we don't know what happened 36 years ago.  We don't know who is telling the truth.  I hate to say it, but just because the accuser is a woman, doesn't mean she deserves to be believed.  Just because she may not have a reason to falsely accuse Judge Kavanaugh doesn't mean she should be believed.  On the other hand, just because Judge Kavanaugh has led an exemplary adult life, doesn't mean he didn't do what he is accused of doing.  Somewhere in the midst of this struggle that is outside the arena of this present truth, there is another struggle going on that makes the truth of greater import.  

I want Judge Kavanaugh to be confirmed to the Supreme Court, but not at the expense of the truth.  If I am willing to sacrifice the truth for an expedient end, I am no better than those who distort the truth in both sides of the media circus surrounding this story.  So as a Christian what do I do?  

Answer, I will choose to cherish truth.  I will cry out to my loving creator to bring truth to the forefront.

I don't fear the mid-term elections, or a hypothetical outcome I can't see.  I don't sacrifice truth in the rush to put someone into a seat of power that God may not want them in.  If I can't trust God with the day to day existence of my life human life, then I should stop serving him completely.  He knows the truth, and as the Bible says, the truth will set you free.  Christians shouldn't become part of the feeding frenzy that is this current political battle.  We should be the calming voice calling for truth.  At the same time, the truth doesn't take forever.  IF it is the truth, Perhaps, nearly 36 years ago a little 15 year old girl should have told her parents that she'd gone to a party with older kids and in their drunken stupor she'd almost been raped. We're told by her own account that she feared her parents reactions. Now, the truth may be forever marred by human opinion.  That is the price of secrecy.  The truth is already compromised by fear. Courage is the bosom buddy of truth.  

I often tell the men I pastor of a time in my childhood when I was a serial liar.  As a toddler my Dad caught me with my hand in the cookie jar and I still declared 'I didn't do it.'  Throughout my adolescence I would lie all the time.  Then one day, my brother used one of my dad's tools to repair his bicycle and left it outside to be rained on.  Dad found it in the yard and immediately blamed me.  I denied it vehemently, but it was of no avail, in his mind I was a liar, and I was lying then.  I received one of the worst whippings of my childhood, not because of its severity, but because as each stroke of the belt fell on my body, I knew I hadn't done what I was accused of.  I was innocent of the crime.  As I sat in my room crying a truth hit me that affected the course of my life forever.  I would tell the truth to my dad no matter what.  If it meant I would be punished, at least I would be punished for what I did.  I would tell him when I'd violated his personal spaces, strayed beyond decency, and experimented with my growing sexual urges.  In short, he and my mother would be privy to the truth of my life, even in the embarrassing stuff.  Because of that, my father eventually began to trust me when I made my declination of events I didn't do. Since that time I haven't always told the truth, and I haven't always revealed my deepest darkest secrets.  I've done things I'm ashamed of to this day, and I believe they are better locked away in the past.  To many people, those 'crimes' would be laughable.  At the same time to others they would be horrifying. If asked, however, I would tell the truth.  I have to believe that Judge Kavanaugh has learned the same lessons as myself, or I would not want him on the highest court in our land.  

Tomorrow, Judge Kavanaugh, and his accuser will both tell their stories to a nation in political turmoil.  In the wings of that chamber of human endeavors will be truth.  Believe me, there is truth out there, and that truth will win, no matter the outcome.  I can say that because I believe in a loving, and just God who judges above the will and and whims of humankind.  When this is all over with, the question for Christians isn't whether truth won out or not.  Truth doesn't always win out in the court of human affairs. My brother never got a whipping for leaving that wrench outside.  Everyday, innocent people die, the weak suffer, the poor get overridden, and despots continue to subdue. Yet, in the affairs of God, truth will be revealed.  All will be revealed.  When humans fail to believe that, the truth is of no value.  Without the truth, peace becomes elusive, and tyranny prevails.  These are things I know from my short 63 years on this earth.  I've seen the price of half-truths, outright lies, and hidden truth first hand.  I've seen what happens when we value secrecy more than transparency.  

So, I will try my hardest to watch the full Senate hearings, not the encapsulated reports of either side of the media.  I will pray that the truth prevails, no matter the political outcome, because I know a just judge is presiding over tomorrows proceedings.  I will ask Him to reveal the truth, because I know He values truth.  I will lay aside my anxious heart, my dubious musings, and my preconceptions for a moment of peace.  I will ask Holy Spirit to remove my prejudice and replace it with wisdom from His throne.  Like Solomon of old, I will ask for the means to know who is telling the truth.  I urge all of my Christian brothers and sisters to trust God and believe that He will reveal the truth.  Why?  

Because only the truth can bring peace.  

As a final word, the horizon is beginning to turn a beautiful deep blue as this world spins its daily course around our lovely sun.  I am beginning to hear the faint chirps of sparrows in the tree outside my eastern window.  They are waking up to a new day, unconcerned with the mess of human events, and the political wranglings I am focused on.  They will spend their day looking for food, seeking shelter, and living out their day trusting in the one who provides them with this awesome universe in which we live.  Tomorrow will come whether they live to see it or not.  Tomorrow will come, and that is all the truth they need to know.  

OPEN WINDOW, OPEN HEART

I've been busy!  Our 'new to us' house is livable, and we are moved in.  This makes my days longer and even more blurry than they were before.  It's not a complaint, just a fact.  The journey from our old home out in the country to our home in the city is in its eighteenth month.  I won't call the project complete until the outside is trimmed out and the house is painted.  Then it will be maintenance.  I'm saying all of this because I just opened a window in my office to let the cool early morning air in.   It's a cool Sunday morning, and I can hear numerous dogs barking in the distance.  The sound of traffic is something I will have to get accustomed to.  It doesn't keep me up at night, but it is louder than our old house in the country.  It reminds me of my old office at the church.  Which brings me to the title of this post.
A lot has happened since my last post.  We have a new President of our nation.  We have riots, protests, and hate mongers everywhere.  I'm not sure, but I don't think there has ever been a President who elicited death threats or violence if you admitted to voting for him.  We have angry hateful people calling other people hateful, and those people being labeled as being hateful are becoming less tolerant.  I never thought I'd see the day when colleges and universities would forbid anyone to speak. I never thought I'd see sexual rights (which aren't guaranteed) replace religious freedom (which is guaranteed).  Everyone is hunkered down in their dogmatic foxhole lobbing vitriolic mortars at one another.  If you stick your head up, you risk being sniped.  The 'left' screams resist and the 'right' screams back.  As a christian conservative, I've never felt more uneasy than I do right now. Everything I cherish and hold true is being challenged and turned on its head.  Even as I write this, I realize all it would take is someone reporting my blog as 'hate speech' and Google would close me down, but I digress.
The problem is air conditioning.  We keep our homes locked up solid all year long.  The windows are for looking through not listening. We condition our air, and end up conditioning our lives.  God forbid we should be uncomfortable. We've lost the ability to listen to one another.  When I was a young boy growing up in El Paso, Texas, we didn't have air conditioning.  We had swamp coolers, and you had to have a window open to allow the chilled air to pass through.  That window was usually in my room.  I could hear the neighbors TV sets, their fights with children and one another.  I could hear the street traffic, the sound of dogs barking, and crickets.  When neighbors met during the day, the most common question was; "did you hear 'that' last night?"  (Whatever 'that' was, was usually a neighbor forgetting everyone had a window open.)  Then, everyone started getting air conditioning.  The windows started closing, and amazingly people stopped meeting each other on the street. Chain link fences went up, and eventually bars over the windows.  I saw a picture of our old house not long ago, and it truly looks like a prison with ten foot high chain link fence and concertina wire atop it.  I can remember laying out on the grass in our front yard staring at the stars.  Now there is not grass.  It looks like a prison yard. I used to live in a neighborhood where all the kids knew each other and were free to play outside until nine at night.
Now, my neighborhood is digital.  Facebook, instagram, and snapchat have replaced meeting people face to face.  Husbands and wives text each other in the same room instead of talking.  Children don't even text their parents.  This is not the kind of relationships I want in the city.
Sometime soon, I'm going to put a birdbath outside the window to my home office.  I'm going to put a green table close to the fence and sit at it while my neighbors do their thing.  We are going to invite people over for Sunday dinner.  We'll sit down and discuss the disgust we see around us.  We'll open our windows and hopefully hear the occasional sounds of life beyond the TV set.  I'll be glad to hear the sparrows skittering and splashing in their bath.  I will open my window and open my heart, which is pretty amazing for me considering I'm an introvert.  

Awe and Wonder

I can still remember that magical (yes, it was magical) moment when I experienced awe, and wonder for the first time.  It was a mild fall evening in El Paso, Texas, in 1966.  I was lying on the grass looking at the moon through a 20x telescope I’d received as a gift that year.  For an eleven-year-old boy, that telescope was the invitation to worlds unknown.  Never mind that it wasn’t any better than a good pair of binoculars, or that it was almost impossible to hold it still without a tripod.  It was my ticket to the stars.  On that fateful October evening, my arms grew tired, forcing me to lay the telescope down to let the blood return to my arms once more.  The moon was just a sliver in the crisp desert night sky, and there were more stars that night than I’d ever seen before.  As I stared into the depths of space, I wondered where it all ended?  Where was the end to the vast field of stars that beckoned me?  What was beyond the end of the universe?. 

I couldn’t imagine an end.

As I peered upward, and outward, I experienced awe for the first time in my life. My heart rate went up, and seemed to suddenly stop.  The air left my lungs in a long slow breath as my infantile, finite mind tried to cope with the infinite.  The harder I tried to comprehend the vastness of the universe, the more awestruck I became.  In that instant, I became fascinated with all things ‘space’.  It was a good time for it.  The ‘space race’ was at its peak, and it seemed every day was a new leap forward to the cosmos.  I had tons of questions, and an insatiable curiosity.  Even as I became enthralled with science, astronomy, and rockets, I was also coming to know the creator of the universe in a much smaller space, my heart.  At first, the two seemed to be worlds apart.  It seemed as if science was trying to dispel the notion of God, while at the same time, religion as I experienced it, was at odds with science.  I wrestled many long nights with doubt, and disbelief. I knew within my heart, and spirit, that I was experiencing the presence of God through faith in Christ, but at the same time I knew what I was learning in the classroom didn’t allow for the idea of God.  The awe, and wonder of that magical fall evening slipped into a dull ache for the truth.  For a few years, I enjoyed the rapture of science as I became increasingly interested in visiting worlds beyond this rock we call home.  Science Fiction novels were a daily diet. Scientific American magazines littered my room.  My favorite atomic particle was the neutrino, and a paper I wrote in the 9^th grade on it, won me a trip to a science symposium at the University of New Mexico.  This was heady stuff for a wide-eyed teenager.  The tug of war between science, and faith went back and forth  throughout my school years.

I couldn’t imagine an end to the conflict. 

 A great sadness followed me for many years as I wrestled with my faith in God, and my love of science.  After High School, I became less concerned with science, and followed my faith.  When I was amongst Christians, I would never discuss science for fear of being revealed as a closet scientist.  I wouldn’t talk with anyone about the way I’d come to peace with both aspects of my being.  I didn’t want to be labeled a heretic, or unbeliever, when actually the opposite was the truth.  I’d raged war with myself, the tough stuff was over, and I was  believer in more than a savior.  I’d fallen in love with more than a cold, judgmental God.  I’d pushed past the dogma of both science, and faith,  into an intensely personal relationship with the One I know created the infinite.  It didn’t matter what others thought about my beliefs, I knew I loved the savior of my soul, His creation, and even the people on both sides who demanded absolute obeisance to their dogma.  I could talk with, walk with, touch, and feel the creator of this physical vale. 

I couldn’t imagine an end to this relationship with the Creator. 

Fast forward forty-seven years to a cold October morning where I came face to face with that same feeling of awe and wonder, and it came from the strangest of places.  I was reading an article on the internet concerning the Higgs-Boson, and its implications for the universe.  The article was this vast exploration of the different theories surrounding this elusive particle.  Almost every model created for studying the existence of the Higgs, ended in a catastrophic end to the universe.  The vast reaches of the universe had an end to it.  The Big Bang would end in a big entropic collapse.  Bummer!  Most particle physicists, and those who report on them embrace the end of the universe with the same religious fervor of fundamentalist Christians.  It becomes all they can talk about.  Particle physics becomes like the book of Revelation, a foretelling of impending doom.  Unified theories are just as elusive as proof of God’s existence.  String theory, superstrings, dark matter, gravity lensing,  everything we can think of comes to an eventual end.  Suddenly as I thought of all the struggle these scientists were facing in dealing with ‘how’ this universe works, I came face to face with my own struggle once more.  The men and women who obsess over what makes this universe work, and those who obsess over the One who makes it work, all have bills to pay, families to support, spouses to love, and children to nurture.  This universe goes on as it has for eons, and will go on for more time than we will live.  The profound things of the spiritual, or scientific are only profound to those who share in its intricacies.  At either end of the spectrum of faith, the zealots will beat their drums, and call for the death of the non-believers.  Somewhere in the middle of this silly debate, people like me, see the beauty of the Creator written in a little child’s giggle, or in the dance of sunbeams over orange, and fire laced clouds.  Life is more than what you can see in an equation, or in a spiritual icon.  This moment, this instant is infinitely more precious than infinity.   Whether you believe in God, or not, the question isn’t ‘what’ you loved, but ‘who’ you loved.  Throughout the world, cemeteries are filled with heretics, agnostics, fanatics, and scientists.  Parked next door to them are evangelists, pastors, prophets, and lay people of all creeds.  These things seem to get lost when the fires of passion rage among the faithful in either camp.  As I sat there considering the forecasted lifespan of our universe, it happened again, nearly forty-seven years after that fateful October night, I had another moment where my heart took off like a rocket, and my lungs emptied themselves in a slow exhale.  I know the answer to the problem, but it isn’t something I can put to numbers.  In the word of God, it says that in the end, God will roll up the universe like a scroll.  The prophets are right, and the scientists are right.  Both sides say it will all end, someday.  

Problem is, I still can’t imagine an end.   Therefore, I lean back in my chair, close my eyes, put my hands behind my head, and smile smugly. I experience the awe, and wonder once more, feeling the familiar presence of God more than ever before.  

The Illusion of Power

Let me preface this blog, by saying that I've been studying Psalms 37 for inclusion into our Men's study on Sundays.  For over a month, I've been reading it, and rehearsing it.  I know it well, because many years ago, (too many) I put it to song as a lullaby for my children. Those many years ago, I didn't know what I know now.  Yet, it is nice to have the melody to rehearse the passage.  

I hope my Christian friends, and family will take the time to read this blog, and understand where I'm coming from, because in this present day, I sense hopelessness within the Church. I am not speaking to the wicked, because that is the job of the Holy Spirit.  I'm not warning the evildoers, for they have already been warned.  I want to talk to my Christian brothers, and sisters.  We have to be very careful about how we (Christians) carry ourselves in the face of dissent, and even outright aggression.  It is too easy to allow the hostility towards all things Christian to be viewed as criticism of ourselves.  God's admonishment through the Psalmist David is just as true today, as it was then.  Power is an illusion.  

The wicked, and the evildoer expend their energy, and resources on those things that will fade upon their deaths.  Even if they try to leave an inheritance to their children, it is quickly consumed, or stolen. If we take a stroll through history, we find those who had real power, never took it's mantle upon them. Real power is not measured in what you can take to yourself, but in what you can give away.  If at the end of this life you are empty of all that you possessed, you've exercised ultimate power.  The promise of Psalms 37 is implied and hidden within the obvious.  The wicked, and evildoers are grass, and herbs.  They get mowed down and wither.  There is another scripture, Isaiah 61:3 that tells us that those who trust in God shall be 'trees of righteousness.'  It is a vivid comparison.  The wicked may have their day in the sun, the powerful may breathe their hatred for life, but the righteous will endure.  Our greatest concern for the wicked, and the powerful should be prayerful concern.  Our greatest evil toward them should be to love their souls while they are yet breathing, and able to repent.  

Sadly, it is all too easy to become impassioned at the things we see the wicked getting by with.  We can be tricked into feeling that God doesn't see the things they do, nor is He just in letting them prosper while we suffer. We can be trapped into breathing out hatred, slander, and innuendo, which have nothing to do with being Christ like at all.  Do the powerful do dumb things?  YES!  Do the wicked live out lives of happiness while here on this earth?  YES!  Do the evildoers escape temporal judgement?  YES!  

BUT, they don't escape eternal judgment.  Eternity awaits!  

King David is remembered far more than the evil kings who surrounded him.  He has left an eternal mark upon the history of mankind.  Even more, he has left his mark upon the eternal course of life through his Son Jesus.

Psalms 37:3 puts it in the same light as Jesus did Matthew chapter six.  All of the sermon on the mount is about trusting God even in the midst of powerlessness.  It is about believing and trusting in what God said.  Then comes the admonishment:  "and do good."   It is that simple.  Trust God, and do good.  Jesus said that we have to 'do the things He said.'   If in our moral, or righteous indignation, we begin to hate, we are no better than the powerful who rely on themselves.  Our fire, and desire for judgment become a trap.  I don't agree with all that is done in government, business, and in society as a whole, but if I wish evil upon those who I perceive as wicked, I become trapped in wickedness myself.  I prefer to let God be the judge.  I prefer Him, because I know He is more merciful than I could ever be.  I prefer God to judge because I know he judged me worthy of His Son, and made a way for me to be redeemed when I was more wicked than any of those I judge.  

This last week, our church packed over 900 boxes for Operation Christmas Child, in a small corner of those boxes, in some small way, my heart will be carried to a small child who has never known the love of Christ. I believe in the small things.  I believe in the tender touches that have no way to be returned.  I believe in doing things for which there is no way for me to realize monetary gain, or to be applauded for what I did.  I prefer for my left hand not to know what the right hand is doing, lest my mind begin to be puffed up.  Somewhere in this world a little child will open a shoebox filled with love, and I will have realized the greatest power of all, the power to make a child smile.  That is the power of love.

Power is an illusion, LOVE is real.    

The Grace I Walk In

The Sparrow’s Perch seems like a distant memory to me now.  The winter months, combined with a hectic work schedule made it difficult to spend time in the Perch.  Actually, so much has changed over the winter, I’m eager to begin spending time up here once again.  As the Men’s pastor of our faith fellowship, I’ve been leading  a study into the Kingdom of God, and our part in it.    As we’ve gone through our study, I’ve come to realize how much I didn’t know about the Kingdom.  I’ve always been more concerned with living in the Presence of God than with the day-to-day exercise of the Kingdom.  It didn’t take long in our study for me to realize I wasn’t the only one. 

I don’t want to use this blog to talk about what we’re learning in our men’s group, because I already have another blog for that purpose.  Actually, I’d like to share how this study is affecting me personally.  Probably the biggest change is my focus.  I’m not talking about my priorities, but the focus of my attention.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve begun to look forward to the moment in my life when I can slow down.  To wax biblical, I’d always dreamed of the day when I could sit in the city gate, and bore younger men with what I’ve learned.  This does not seem to be how it is happening.  I’m actually busier at my ‘secular’  job than I’ve ever been before, while at the same time, my ministry has moved away from the Church into the daily work-a-day life.  I find myself encouraging, admonishing, praying, and even teaching in informal settings that challenge me to be more aware of what others are going through, and to listen to what others say.  This isn’t a natural position for me.  I’ve always been a leader in the body of Christ first, and a ‘worker’ second.  There was a time when I resented the intrusion of the physical into my hunger for the spiritual.  Serving, ministering, and giving my time to the ‘body of Christ’ came naturally to me, until of late.  Now, I’m beginning to see a greater family than our local fellowship.  I’ve discovered how to be a vessel for God’s grace to be shown to those outside of our fellowship. It’s an unusual position for me to be in.  I’m still learning how to move this way.   Which brings me back to what we’re learning in our Men’s group. 

As I said earlier, we’ve spent about seven weeks (actually more,) delving into the deep waters of ‘grace.’   I’ve enjoyed the rapport between our men, and the discussion of grace being more than just forgiveness.  My opinion is, that  God would have used the word ‘forgiveness’ if that was all that grace is.  Instead, we’ve discovered a dynamic, powerful, and thrilling definition of grace that makes what God is doing in me understandable. 

My simple definition for ‘grace’ is: The ability to do God’s stuff. 

Now, don’t go crazy on me and start sending me nasty comments. I didn’t say ‘do God stuff’, but to do HIS will, you know. . . God’s stuff.  What God created us to do, what Christ came to earth to show us how we can do it.  Through the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit, men can do what God wants done.  We can do HIS stuff.  Maybe I see it too simplistic, but I do see it.  It isn’t what you, or others can do, it’s what he wants me to do.  He’s not only given me the authority, but also given the power to accomplish those things that God wants done on this earth.  2^nd Peter, chapter 1 and John chapter 17 are the two most clear cut scriptures that support this idea.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.  The power He has given us, is for more than sitting in the city gate and arguing the details of the Christian life, it is for the advancement of the Kingdom.  

First, and foremost, he wants to redeem all mankind, so he gives me the words, knowledge, and ability to share the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I CAN DO THAT.   We’ve learned that salvation is more than just the redemption of our soul, it is for us to do the kind of God stuff that blesses people in THIS life.  He wants to bless all mankind physically through healing, deliverance, and blessing.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in me, I CAN DO THAT. 

“WHAT?”  You ask. 

Like the parable in Luke 19: 11-27, Christ has gone away to receive His Kingdom, leaving us gifts to witness of Him.  Those gifts are His grace (favor).  He’s left us with the means to accomplish His will. He left us with the order to do ‘His stuff.’  Our rebirth into His Kingdom has empowered us, and authorized us to share the benefits of His Kingdom with all men.  Therefore, when I go out into the ‘world’ every day, I’m going out as an ambassador of His Kingdom, empowered and authorized to do anything that will advance His Kingdom.  Maybe it’s too simplistic to say He’s left us the ability to do HIS stuff, but what else can we say? Why are we left here on this earth after giving ourselves over to the Lord?  Wouldn’t it be wiser to simply take us home the minute we profess our faith in Him?  The answer has to be that there is stuff we have to do.  We have to follow his example, yield ourselves to the power of the Holy Spirit, and become children of God. As His dear children, we are given the same Holy Spirit which raised Christ from the dead.  He has empowered, and authorized us to act as sons of God.   We can even forgive sins, (ooooohhhhh that one got Christ in trouble with the religious leaders of the day,) and it is what he wants us to do today.  Yet it goes farther than that.  God’s grace gives us the authority, and power to do the miraculous through the name of Jesus.

The other morning I texted the men in our group and encouraged them to find an opportunity to show God’s grace.  It wasn’t long before one of the men asked me to define Grace again.   I guess I should’ve just said:  Look for an opportunity to do God’s stuff today.  What is God’s stuff. 

Simple; LOVE.

His love makes the suffering of others insufferable.  His love makes the afflictions of others intolerable.  His love makes oppression, and injustice, distasteful.  His love demands action, and we, His children are the ones He has entrusted with his grace to do it.   It is in this alone that the presence of God is manifest.

Man, this Kingdom stuff is so difficult.