On its surface, happiness seems to be elusive and difficult to maintain. Lately, in our highly charged political environment, happiness isn't just elusive, it is hiding out somewhere refusing to be found. As a handyman, I usually deal with people at a bad time in their lives. When something is broke down, needs repairing, or needs to be replaced, it is hard to be happy about it. So, it goes without saying that I am confronted with people who aren't happy, Well, at least for the moment.
Despite what people say, happiness does depend on our circumstances. I think the reason happiness is dictated by our circumstances is because we are often forced to deal with issues out of our control. Nothing affects your happiness more than feeling your life is out of your control. I'm not one of those people who believe you should paste on a smile and pretend to be happy when you aren't. As an evangelical christian, I often resent preachers who will stand in the pulpit and blast you for being down when life throws a monkey wrench at you. "have faith in God," "There is a reason for this," "just be grateful" and the thousands of other high sounding platitudes make a mockery of the biblical admonition to mourn with those who mourn, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. Grief, mourning, sorrow, and even anger are emotions that our Heavenly Father has had. His discontent with mankind even forced him to repent of His decision to make us in the first place. So, for someone to quote a bunch of goofy platitudes is insulting at best.
So, what do we do when we are confronted with tragedy, setbacks, and bad situations beyond our control? Do you just 'look on the bright side of life'? Is there something that makes the pain go away?
I know in my own life, it took a long time for me to realize what was already out of my control, and what I had a genuine reason to be bummed out about. We, here in the west, most specifically here in the USA, are blessed beyond measure. Even those who legally qualify as living in poverty are better off than 98% of the world's population. To know that you are in the top 2% in terms of wealth should go a long way to begin stepping out of the doldrums. You won't be instantly happy with that thought, but at least you will be able to put a reference point to your situation. Our worst situation would make 98% of the worlds population feel enriched. I wish everyone could be grateful for this awesome nation we live in. Gratitude is the soil in which happiness grows best. Yet, once we have something, we are rarely grateful, which tends to make us less happy.
Speaking mainly from my own personal experience, I know that there are base things that affect my happiness, but they all boil down to one thing, time. If we would allow ourselves to be honest we all know that our time is money. Every disappointing situation in life outside of grief, can be measured in time. Loss of a job, home problems, car problems, even people problems can be taken down to a measure of time. If it wasn't true, then why would we ask how long someone was married when they tell us they just got divorced. If a friend betrays you, the question will eventually be 'how long were you friends?'
At the end of our lives, when we are more aware of our impending departure, we rarely wish we had more work, or more things. We want more time.
Time still isn't the base measure for happiness. It's what you fill that time up with. Love, in all of its higher expressions (not lust) is what makes for happiness. Even then, if our love is selfish and measured on the love returned, we have missed our opportunity to be happy.
Oh, and going back to my earlier point about the highly charged political environment, it seems to me some people are happy being angry.
At least it seems that way to me.
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