Thursday, September 13, 2012

STOPPING TO BELIEVE


If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you know by now that the place I call my sanctuary of peace and intimacy with the Spirit of God, is my office at the Church where I serve as the Men’s pastor.   My office sits just atop a long flight of stairs, and to the right of the landing.  I like it up here, because the window in my office overlooks the bottled up waters of  Crooked Creek,  which the locals affectionately call Lake Harrison. 
My daily routine, is to come in sometime around 5 or 5:30 in the morning, turn on the computer, open the window, and make coffee.   Once the coffee is brewing, I will sit down and read our daily bible reading, and pray.  
This morning, something happened to cause me to stop and question what I believe.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t monumental, tragic, or even noteworthy except for the fact that it caused me to pause for a moment, and question what I believe. 
The morning started off like any other, I was awakened by the alarm on my cell phone, went in and turned on the water to brush my teeth. Later, after I finished dressing, and the coffee pot I’d programmed the night before had dutifully produced my anticipated 1st cup of coffee, I sat down a while to watch my lovely bride of over thirty-six years nap before facing her upcoming day.  After she left for work, I went out to my truck, put the key in the ignition and turned the key.  The truck started, I put it in gear and drove to the church.  Without even thinking about it, I turned the key to the side door, and found myself walking down the familiar hallway and up the stairs in the half-light from the streetlight outside.  I flipped the switch inside my door, and the light came on as usual.  I turned on the computer, made another pot of coffee, and sat down to read our daily reading. 
Something had changed. 
The computer hadn’t come on. 
DARN! 
We do so many things based on faith. 
My belief system was shaken.  You turn a key, flip a switch, press a button, program a timer, turn a wheel, and something happens.  This is the way of our modern world.  Without question, signals pour out of little thin wires, and we can know what is happening across the world.  I don’t claim to know the intricacies of electricity, but I do know the switch isn’t where the power comes from.  At the same time, if it doesn’t work the first time I flip the switch, I will usually bump it up and down at least three or four times, until I become convinced that something other than the switch is broken.  You see, I base my daily routine upon a myriad of things that I can’t see, but ultimately affect my life.  I still stand in awe of the cell phone, the internet, broadcast TV, water lines, and other modern conveniences that await my beck and call.  They work without question, and often without my knowing their source.  I have a plastic card that allows me to draw unseen money from an electronic depository  that is supposed to be the money in my bank account.  I’ve never seen all of my money in the bank, but a piece of paper every month says I have it.  When people pay me for fixing things in their home, they pay me with a piece of paper that is supposed to be the same as cash.  All of this requires faith.  When it doesn’t work, there is usually a good reason.  That reason is usually outside of our control. 
It was at that moment when my computer didn’t come on, that I stopped to believe.  Since I was ten years old, I’ve known there is a God.  There is electricity, there is God.  There is water, there is God.  There is air, there is God.  As long as I can remember, I’ve known there is a God.  If I ever doubted for one moment, my mother would remind me, there is a God.  He became the fabric of my life, without my even knowing how he became the fabric of my life. Even when I’ve  done all the right spiritual things, made all the right spiritual moves, and not seen the spiritual results I wanted, I’ve always known there was a God.  It’s in my being. 
Then this morning happened.
I frantically jabbed at the button to the computer, looked up at the light (which was on, but for some reason I looked anyway,) and then looked down at the surge protector beside my desk. 
The switch was off. 
In closing my window yesterday, I’d accidentally turned it off
I reached down and jabbed at the green switch, and obediently the computer sprang to life.  I found myself laughing at the irritation I’d felt earlier.  My initial reaction was that I’d blown another computer due to a power surge or excessive heat.  As I heard the fan motors whir, and the lights flash green, I stopped to believe once more in the mystery that is electricity. 
I do so much out of simple routine, and am rarely concerned about whether it works or not.  I never question whether the power will be there.  I never doubt that water will spill from my tap, and I very rarely doubt the hundreds of other things I rely on every day.  I often do the same thing with my relationship to the creator of the universe.  Most of the time, He goes unheeded, moving quietly in the background of my life, with little thought or appreciation on my part until something doesn’t work in my life.  It’s when everything is good and right, that I tend to forget he is there. His Spirit flows unseen through the walls and floors of my life only to exit at whatever ornate faucet I choose to let him spring from.  Even then, the water tap is usually opened only when I need something for myself.  More often than not, his power in my life serves me only.  When I do move beyond my own comfort zone, and make an attempt at being selfless, his power seems to do far more for others than he does for me.  This alone causes me stand in awe of Him. 
Yet, most of the time I’m oblivious of Him until I ask him for something I want, and don’t get it right away. Even then, I’ve discovered  it’s because I’ve done something to turn off the surge protector in my Spiritual walk, that prevents me from getting what I ask for.  Today, I willfully made a commitment to believe in him as much or more than I do the electric company, the water department, or any of the other far less faithful services in my life. 
Today, I stopped to believe. 
Sparrows must believe.

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