The Warrior in Me

Veteran’s Day is always a mixed bag for me.  Having served fifteen years in the United States Air Force, from 1980 to 1995, I am always honored when people recognize my service to the country.  Having served through the Cold War, Panama, and Desert Storm, I’ve seen the value of having a strong defense firsthand.  At the same time, as a Christian I’ve often wrestled with the warrior in me.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love to believe in a utopian ideal of mutual tolerance, respect, honor, and love for one another.  These things are a part of my Christian ethos.  Sadly, at this late stage of my life, I am not naïve enough to believe we will ever see it this side of the Lord’s return. 

I’m weary of our ability as a species to find horrendous ways to kill one another.  With one accidental slip of a test tube, we could unleash monstrous viral diseases that know no boundaries.  Radical, and fearful peoples are now able to construct nuclear weapons without concern for what they are unleashing upon themselves.  We’ve created chemical weapons so toxic, one drop could poison thousands. The reasons for creating these weapons are lost on me.  There is no justification.  With each new weapon, there is a new defense, with each new defense, there is a greater weapon, the cycle goes on and on.  Within our military, there are brave men and women who’ve decided to be at the front lines of defending us from these horrific weapons.  I love these people, but at the same time, my heart goes out to them. 

When I was stationed at Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho, I met a wonderful man of God who helped me deal with my inner conflict.  One night as my family and I were having dinner with him, he said; “God creates people to do all kinds of different things.  He creates healers, thinkers, tinkerers, policeman, firefighters, and warriors.  The man who God said was after His own heart, was a warrior king, named David. David was not a bully, he was not a tyrant, but he knew these people existed.  God makes warriors to defend those who can’t or won’t defend themselves from the cruel, and wicked.”

The king David I love, was a shepherd, and a musician before he was a warrior.  David didn’t like being a warrior, and that is why 30 men of valor protected him. They knew he was an honorable man, anointed by God to defend Israel.  Later in his life, David was weary of fighting, and let his son take the kingdom from him.  It was the worst thing a warrior could do.  An angry son trampled upon the peace purchased with the blood of his mighty men, and David was powerless to stop him.  When David desired to build a house of worship for the God he loved, God couldn’t let it happen. There is always the issue of blood spilled in battle, and in the course of our lives.

We ask our young men, and women to do terrible things, and we expect them to come back home to us unchanged.  While the weapons of warfare have changed, the same thing is true from generation to generation, killing another human being is a frightful thing.  I’ve seen the faraway look in a warrior’s eyes as the memory of his actions replay over, and over again. These are things I wish upon no one. My own son-in-law, David, is in the Army Reserves, and he is in an extremely dangerous job.  About a year ago, he was supposed to go to Afghanistan, and I had to pray that God’s will for his life would be done.  I didn’t fear for his life, I feared for his soul.  I didn’t want him going there, and coming back with the ghosts of war.   A warrior loves peace, but rarely finds it.  There are too many cruel, and wicked people out there. The things we have to do to stand up against them leaves men broken, and empty. I can’t say I wasn’t relieved when they cancelled his deployment.  I know he wanted to go, but obviously God knew better. 

So, for David, and those like him who have a warrior’s heart, I pray for you that you will live long enough to be weary with war.  I pray that our men and women who have placed their first  class citizenship on hold, and become 2^nd class citizens, will find a moment to be proud of being human, more than being warriors. The warrior in me knows the exhilaration of being part of a vast army, while the Christ/man in me knows the joy of being meek.  Still, I know that outside of this bright beacon of hope, and liberty, are despots, evil minded, and yes, even the mentally ill in positions of power, which do not hold to my ideal of a Utopian world where killing, and malice are banished.  God has made you warriors to stand against them for us. I salute you, as once others saluted me.  I wore my uniform with pride, and can point to the successes of my time in service, but I would rather point to the successes of the savior’s love at work within me.  I would rather go to Nicaragua, and hand a child a soccer ball than to lob a grenade at a young boy who only a few years ago would have gladly taken the ball from my hand.  I would rather fill a shoebox with trinkets, little toys, and necessary items and send them off through Operation Christmas Child, than to see one more bomb dropped from an aircraft. 

Therefore, I’ll pray for all of you who serve, that you come home safe, unchanged, and whole. 

God bless all of you who are now, who have been, and those who will someday be warriors. 

Happy Veteran’s Day.