TIME AND SPARROWS

I've often wondered if the little sparrows out in my yard are aware of time.  Do they mark their days by how long they have lived, or how many days they have left?   Do they mark their days at all?  Are we the only creatures on this planet who are aware of time?  We are obsessed with time, and it influences every aspect of our lives.  Almost midway through my sixth generation on this earth, I'm keenly aware of time. Both of my male grandparents died in their early sixties, and I've lived longer than both of them.  Do I have enough time left on this vale to do the things I dreamed of doing as a young man?  As I watch the sparrows flitting around in my front yard, I find myself wondering how old each one is.  I've learned to tell the difference between male and females by the coloration of their heads, but I don't have a clue as to how old a sparrow is.  I did some research and found out that sparrows have a life expectancy of three to five years in the wild.  I was shocked when I found that out.  Then again, I don't think they are concerned about it.  You never see bird sized Mylar balloons tied to a limb above the nest declaring the residents birthday.  Is time only important to us?

Why is time important to us? Everything we do on this earth is measured in time.  I love to ask pre-schoolers how old they are.  They usually respond with a corresponding number of fingers and then for some inexplicable reason they will add a fraction to their declaration.  "I'm three and a half!" With the half being important in a way that I don't understand.  I probably did when I was three and a half, but not now.  Time moves so quickly now at this point in my life, I quickly add the next year just a couple of months after my birthday.  So much of how we live on this planet is governed by time.  We are paid for a combination of our skills and time, with the true value being time.  Without fail, I've watched those who are paid a salary eventually do the math to discover what their time is worth.  Even doctors and lawyers measure their services in time.  At the end of our days, the march of time has been the measure of worth. 

As Christians we have a unique view of time.  We are keenly aware of the history that proceeded us, and we are hopeful of the eternity that will follow our departure from this vale.  We even have mental imagery of our eternal home framed from a few words in a book that very few seem to believe in any more.  Yet, at the end of our days I've watched Christians cling to this life as if it were the only existence they'll ever know.  It isn't an accident that the best medical treatments, and hospitals are in predominantly Christian nations.  Christians value life, and for some strange reason we are focused on making it last as long as possible. Whether the scientists, and doctors who practice medicine believe in God or not, the people they treat do. 

I had a good friend in the Lord present a graphic that has ministered to me time and again.  He used our video projector to show a small dot in the center of the screen.  He made the statement that he wanted that dot to represent a lifetime of 90 years.  If he zoomed in, the dot soon filled the screen.  At first you could see the pixels at the edge of the dot, and then nothing but a black screen.  Then as he zoomed out, the dot completely disappeared.  Zooming out is the same as viewing our lives through eternity.  Of the billions and billions of lives that have filled this earth, there are very few who have achieved immortality by being remembered throughout the eons of time.  Yet, for the Christian we believe in immortality even if we aren't remembered by those who follow us. This life should be measured by how we love in the few short days we have on this vale.  Our mistakes, successes, and our dreams have but a few moments to shine in this tent we live in.  I believe that in the long run, love is the only thing that conquers time.  It was God's love for us that brought us into existence, and it is His love that takes us into the future.  Time is not a captor, jailer, or measure of our value.   We look for the day when time is of no consequence to us and all the good we did will be revealed.  That is our hope.

I have no great feats that I've done upon this vale.  As far as I know, I've not saved one life through my actions.  I can count on the fingers of two hands the number of souls that I've personally led to a knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Sure I've preached and seen people come up and give their lives to serve Jesus, but there is a difference.  If I'm remembered at all after I'm gone, I want to be remembered as a teacher of men.  I want to someday be walking on whatever heavenly street I live on and have someone come up to me and say; 'because of you, I know Jesus.'  That will be worth it for me. 

You see, from the moment I was conceived, I was dying.  Time came to me, and when I leave, time will go on.  I have no desire to live forever upon this ragged earth.  This vale is too cruel, and of late, it appears to be more so.  I am weary of the killing, and cruelty I see.  I'm weary of the hatred toward one another just because of where you were born.  I am weary of the anger, and struggle between ideas that we all want to enforce upon another.  Despite my weariness, I'm happy to be alive.  I'm thrilled to still have a choice.  That is why I believe in Christianity, it is a choice.  You don't have to agree with me, because you don't have to believe.  It may insult you that I believe in a better place for those who believe in Jesus Christ, but in the end why does it offend you?  Is it because you're not sure eternity awaits you?  There's the rub!!!! 
No one can be sure.  Even the most devout atheist has to believe there isn't a God, and because it is a belief, it also means, you aren't sure.  You don't have empirical evidence.  Sad isn't it?  Time marches on, and in the end the lingering question is; "is there more to life than this?" Once I pass this vale, why would I care enough to come back and prove there is more?  Can I come back?  Christians have those answers, but they require faith.  It's almost laughable, if it wasn't so sad.  I don't believe this life is all there is, I can't even do a 'what if'.  When I lay this mortal tent aside, I will have lived well, and loved as well as I could.  I have done nothing worthy of eternal remembrance, but this earth isn't immortal.  It too will be rolled up like a scroll and our dying sun will destroy it in a fiery death throe.  Still the universe will go on.  My life will be just another small breath in billions breathed upon this doomed planet. Eternity will be a celebration of lives lived, yes even mine.  My dot in the frame of eternity will be happy.  I will go to my grave, happy, and wake happy. 

I don't know if there is an eternity for sparrows.  Now that I know they have short life spans, my heart breaks for them.  How old is the plump little guy who's working his way beneath my Clematis right now?   Will he be here next spring?   Will I?     

Time will tell.

ALIVE

There are times I say things out of habit I wish I wouldn't say.  Most of my habitual speech is a product of over fifty years of being a Christian.  A good portion of that speech isn't found in the bible, but grew in Christian circles because it sounded good.  The other day I was talking to a friend of over 20 years when I suddenly realized how cliche I'd become.  Out of habit, he asked me how I was doing.  I have a small group of answers I use based upon who I'm talking to.  Some of them are cute, some of them are dull, and some of them are MEANT to be spiritual. 
"Praise God, I woke up alive and breathing, so I guess I'm doing good."  I replied. 
As soon as I said it I felt pricked in my heart.  Don't get me wrong, I've said something like this for a good portion of my life.  I remember hearing it for the first time as a teenager from an evangelist who said that anytime you wake up in the morning, you are blessed.  So, I've wrapped it up in my own special flavoring and done many different variations on that theme.  This time, I was stopped in my tracks.  There was so much wrong with what I'd said.  I stumbled around for a few seconds trying to figure out what I'd just done, and mostly to listen to Holy Spirit to tell me why He'd elbowed me in my spirit.  It only took a few more seconds, by which time I'm sure my friend was mystified by the look of confusion on my face.  My banter is usually fluid, easy, and quick.  Occasionally, I'll stumble around, but never over a greeting.  Suddenly I knew what I'd said glorified this life, and not the eternal life to which I place my hope. 
At 64 years of age, I am at the point in my life where my parents are nearing the end of their days.  Both of my wife's parents have passed on.  At one time, I had over thirteen aunts and uncles, now that list is down to four.  Three of my older cousins have passed this vale, and I don't know how long I have.  I'm not eager to die, nor do I believe this life is dreary enough to warrant departing by my own hand.  Yet, within me is the knowledge that I have a ticket to a better life, a different home, a brighter place, and a love greater than any I can ever know on this earth, and I've known love!
As Christians, I believe we can worship this life to the point that it becomes an idol.  We accumulate things that won't go in our coffins, we boast of our achievements that will be forgotten the moment we pass, and our money is more often spent on comfort than the needs of others.  These are the things that Christ warned us about.  We weren't supposed to make this place our home. 
A few years back someone I know lost their grandfather.  This simple man of God would go out every morning and walk about two miles out and then head back to his rural home.  This was his time of prayer.  It was when he chose to talk to Jesus.  One morning as he walked, and prayed, a vehicle struck him and he passed from life to life.  One moment he was talking with Jesus, and the next he was with Jesus.  While people were stunned by the suddenness of his death, and brokenhearted by their loss, he was celebrated for his life, and applauded into his glorious life. 
Another breath is simply more time to do the work I was purposed to do.  So, as my friend sat there wondering where I went in my brain, I remembered what my purpose was, and why my glib reply bugged me.
"I'm sorry for what I said."  I replied.  "I'm doing well, praise God, but someday, I'll be doing better."
I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for hanging on to this life.  It is our nature to survive, and for our bodies to cling to life.  I begrudge no one the battle to live another day.  On the other hand, moving on isn't the end.  That is where the peace of God is. 
Sadly this morning, my lawn is quiet.  The chatter of sparrows hasn't started because the sun hasn't even turned the horizon a dark blue yet.  It won't rise for another hour and I am about to go to church.  I'll worship God for the life he's given me, and the eternal life I have through His Son, Jesus.  If I pass this vale today, then I'll wait for all of you who are my friends.  Well, maybe I won't wait.  I'll just see you there.   

SOMEDAY IS HERE

There are two places I can never be, the past, and the future.  Yet, these two places rule our lives.  As I'm typing this, the NOW is unfolding with each keystroke, even as I attempt to frame the future of my words.  My written sentences, are nothing more than my fingers trying to keep up with the future my brain is speaking.  Somewhere in between the minute measurable moments, is the immeasurable NOW.  Living in the moment is what God intended for us at creation.  I know a lot of people point to the fairy tale idea of the Garden of Eden as being a time of naive existence without fear of death. Nothing is further from the truth.  Our first recorded human conversation proves that there was already knowledge of death.  Satan asks the woman; Did God say you could eat of every tree in the garden?
The woman replies; No, we can't eat of the one I'm looking at right now. If I do, I will die.  (David's paraphrase)  Satan didn't inform her of death (the future) and she understood what God had said, (the past).  The past is remembered for a purpose, to inform the now, and to shape the future.  Without the past, (our memories) we can't safely negotiate the now.  Someday (the future) beckons us forward, while at the same time, the past shapes our path to someday.  Because our days are numbered and our opportunities to affect change are limited by time, we often spend that time trying to live in the two places we can't be. 
Why am I saying all of this?   Because of the conflict I wrote about in my last blog.  As I go through this process, I'm trying to discover how to live in the now.  The situation I'm in was not of my creation.  I simply stepped into the echoes of the past.  That past, not of my own creation, holds the power to affect my future in a powerful way.  God placed that past in my hands, and inexorably the lives and loves of a great deal of people. That past threatens the future of many of those I love.  Finding the key to binding up the power of the past has been my struggle over the past few months.  Every day I ask God to help the people affected by this situation to find peace and enjoy love.  I stand outside the situation, but at the same time I'm like a little boat in the eye of a hurricane.  I can see the possibility of devastation, but seem to be in this place where all is calm.  Notice I didn't say I'm at peace.  The peace of God, is a place I have to stand in regardless of the storms around me.  I have to be like the writer of the song; "It is well."  Even though the waves are rolling and my little ship is being tossed, I can look out over the scene of my life and say; It is well.  At the same time, that little word IF is trying to control my future in a way I can't discern.  So, I choose to live in the now.  That place of peace where even though I can see the storm around me, it doesn't cause me to fear. 
The future is filled with 'if' and the past is filled with the residue of past choices, as well as the collisions with other people's choices.  I heard a person preach a sermon about consequences, and the power of our choices.  The tone of the message was entirely judgmental, and unforgiving.  Our choices, good or bad, do have consequences, but some bad choices can also lead to good things.  (I know that sounds almost heretical.)  Remember the story of Joseph?  His brothers planned to kill him, but sold him into slavery instead. (Bad choice.) They lied to their father and said Joseph was killed by an animal. (Bad choice.)  Through many trials and a lot of Godly intervention, Joseph eventually became the salvation of Egypt, and his brothers.  His statement to them is one of my favorite passages.  'What was meant for evil has been for good.'
The past doesn't always inform the future.  That is the secret of God's redemption and forgiveness.  What I've learned this week, that is different from my last blog, is that I was given this moment, this NOW, to live in regardless of the past, and without fear of the future.  What I am responsible for is doing the right thing, the good thing, even if it appears bad to others.  There are moments when doing the right thing will injure others, or cause them pain.  That is why God didn't want us to know the knowledge of good and evil.  We've made His laws and commandments about us, when the truth is the complete opposite.  The knowledge of good and evil is how we treat one another, and how we view the past and future. That is where GRACE comes in.  Grace is the doorway to peace.  Paul would often open or close his letters to the churches with the salutation of 'grace and peace be with you.'   Notice that grace had to come before peace.  God's grace, the ability to overcome in any situation, is sufficient for me.  Live RIGHT now, and neither the past nor the future can bind you.