TIME AND SPARROWS

I've often wondered if the little sparrows out in my yard are aware of time.  Do they mark their days by how long they have lived, or how many days they have left?   Do they mark their days at all?  Are we the only creatures on this planet who are aware of time?  We are obsessed with time, and it influences every aspect of our lives.  Almost midway through my sixth generation on this earth, I'm keenly aware of time. Both of my male grandparents died in their early sixties, and I've lived longer than both of them.  Do I have enough time left on this vale to do the things I dreamed of doing as a young man?  As I watch the sparrows flitting around in my front yard, I find myself wondering how old each one is.  I've learned to tell the difference between male and females by the coloration of their heads, but I don't have a clue as to how old a sparrow is.  I did some research and found out that sparrows have a life expectancy of three to five years in the wild.  I was shocked when I found that out.  Then again, I don't think they are concerned about it.  You never see bird sized Mylar balloons tied to a limb above the nest declaring the residents birthday.  Is time only important to us?

Why is time important to us? Everything we do on this earth is measured in time.  I love to ask pre-schoolers how old they are.  They usually respond with a corresponding number of fingers and then for some inexplicable reason they will add a fraction to their declaration.  "I'm three and a half!" With the half being important in a way that I don't understand.  I probably did when I was three and a half, but not now.  Time moves so quickly now at this point in my life, I quickly add the next year just a couple of months after my birthday.  So much of how we live on this planet is governed by time.  We are paid for a combination of our skills and time, with the true value being time.  Without fail, I've watched those who are paid a salary eventually do the math to discover what their time is worth.  Even doctors and lawyers measure their services in time.  At the end of our days, the march of time has been the measure of worth. 

As Christians we have a unique view of time.  We are keenly aware of the history that proceeded us, and we are hopeful of the eternity that will follow our departure from this vale.  We even have mental imagery of our eternal home framed from a few words in a book that very few seem to believe in any more.  Yet, at the end of our days I've watched Christians cling to this life as if it were the only existence they'll ever know.  It isn't an accident that the best medical treatments, and hospitals are in predominantly Christian nations.  Christians value life, and for some strange reason we are focused on making it last as long as possible. Whether the scientists, and doctors who practice medicine believe in God or not, the people they treat do. 

I had a good friend in the Lord present a graphic that has ministered to me time and again.  He used our video projector to show a small dot in the center of the screen.  He made the statement that he wanted that dot to represent a lifetime of 90 years.  If he zoomed in, the dot soon filled the screen.  At first you could see the pixels at the edge of the dot, and then nothing but a black screen.  Then as he zoomed out, the dot completely disappeared.  Zooming out is the same as viewing our lives through eternity.  Of the billions and billions of lives that have filled this earth, there are very few who have achieved immortality by being remembered throughout the eons of time.  Yet, for the Christian we believe in immortality even if we aren't remembered by those who follow us. This life should be measured by how we love in the few short days we have on this vale.  Our mistakes, successes, and our dreams have but a few moments to shine in this tent we live in.  I believe that in the long run, love is the only thing that conquers time.  It was God's love for us that brought us into existence, and it is His love that takes us into the future.  Time is not a captor, jailer, or measure of our value.   We look for the day when time is of no consequence to us and all the good we did will be revealed.  That is our hope.

I have no great feats that I've done upon this vale.  As far as I know, I've not saved one life through my actions.  I can count on the fingers of two hands the number of souls that I've personally led to a knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Sure I've preached and seen people come up and give their lives to serve Jesus, but there is a difference.  If I'm remembered at all after I'm gone, I want to be remembered as a teacher of men.  I want to someday be walking on whatever heavenly street I live on and have someone come up to me and say; 'because of you, I know Jesus.'  That will be worth it for me. 

You see, from the moment I was conceived, I was dying.  Time came to me, and when I leave, time will go on.  I have no desire to live forever upon this ragged earth.  This vale is too cruel, and of late, it appears to be more so.  I am weary of the killing, and cruelty I see.  I'm weary of the hatred toward one another just because of where you were born.  I am weary of the anger, and struggle between ideas that we all want to enforce upon another.  Despite my weariness, I'm happy to be alive.  I'm thrilled to still have a choice.  That is why I believe in Christianity, it is a choice.  You don't have to agree with me, because you don't have to believe.  It may insult you that I believe in a better place for those who believe in Jesus Christ, but in the end why does it offend you?  Is it because you're not sure eternity awaits you?  There's the rub!!!! 
No one can be sure.  Even the most devout atheist has to believe there isn't a God, and because it is a belief, it also means, you aren't sure.  You don't have empirical evidence.  Sad isn't it?  Time marches on, and in the end the lingering question is; "is there more to life than this?" Once I pass this vale, why would I care enough to come back and prove there is more?  Can I come back?  Christians have those answers, but they require faith.  It's almost laughable, if it wasn't so sad.  I don't believe this life is all there is, I can't even do a 'what if'.  When I lay this mortal tent aside, I will have lived well, and loved as well as I could.  I have done nothing worthy of eternal remembrance, but this earth isn't immortal.  It too will be rolled up like a scroll and our dying sun will destroy it in a fiery death throe.  Still the universe will go on.  My life will be just another small breath in billions breathed upon this doomed planet. Eternity will be a celebration of lives lived, yes even mine.  My dot in the frame of eternity will be happy.  I will go to my grave, happy, and wake happy. 

I don't know if there is an eternity for sparrows.  Now that I know they have short life spans, my heart breaks for them.  How old is the plump little guy who's working his way beneath my Clematis right now?   Will he be here next spring?   Will I?     

Time will tell.

The Warrior in Me

Veteran’s Day is always a mixed bag for me.  Having served fifteen years in the United States Air Force, from 1980 to 1995, I am always honored when people recognize my service to the country.  Having served through the Cold War, Panama, and Desert Storm, I’ve seen the value of having a strong defense firsthand.  At the same time, as a Christian I’ve often wrestled with the warrior in me.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love to believe in a utopian ideal of mutual tolerance, respect, honor, and love for one another.  These things are a part of my Christian ethos.  Sadly, at this late stage of my life, I am not naïve enough to believe we will ever see it this side of the Lord’s return. 

I’m weary of our ability as a species to find horrendous ways to kill one another.  With one accidental slip of a test tube, we could unleash monstrous viral diseases that know no boundaries.  Radical, and fearful peoples are now able to construct nuclear weapons without concern for what they are unleashing upon themselves.  We’ve created chemical weapons so toxic, one drop could poison thousands. The reasons for creating these weapons are lost on me.  There is no justification.  With each new weapon, there is a new defense, with each new defense, there is a greater weapon, the cycle goes on and on.  Within our military, there are brave men and women who’ve decided to be at the front lines of defending us from these horrific weapons.  I love these people, but at the same time, my heart goes out to them. 

When I was stationed at Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho, I met a wonderful man of God who helped me deal with my inner conflict.  One night as my family and I were having dinner with him, he said; “God creates people to do all kinds of different things.  He creates healers, thinkers, tinkerers, policeman, firefighters, and warriors.  The man who God said was after His own heart, was a warrior king, named David. David was not a bully, he was not a tyrant, but he knew these people existed.  God makes warriors to defend those who can’t or won’t defend themselves from the cruel, and wicked.”

The king David I love, was a shepherd, and a musician before he was a warrior.  David didn’t like being a warrior, and that is why 30 men of valor protected him. They knew he was an honorable man, anointed by God to defend Israel.  Later in his life, David was weary of fighting, and let his son take the kingdom from him.  It was the worst thing a warrior could do.  An angry son trampled upon the peace purchased with the blood of his mighty men, and David was powerless to stop him.  When David desired to build a house of worship for the God he loved, God couldn’t let it happen. There is always the issue of blood spilled in battle, and in the course of our lives.

We ask our young men, and women to do terrible things, and we expect them to come back home to us unchanged.  While the weapons of warfare have changed, the same thing is true from generation to generation, killing another human being is a frightful thing.  I’ve seen the faraway look in a warrior’s eyes as the memory of his actions replay over, and over again. These are things I wish upon no one. My own son-in-law, David, is in the Army Reserves, and he is in an extremely dangerous job.  About a year ago, he was supposed to go to Afghanistan, and I had to pray that God’s will for his life would be done.  I didn’t fear for his life, I feared for his soul.  I didn’t want him going there, and coming back with the ghosts of war.   A warrior loves peace, but rarely finds it.  There are too many cruel, and wicked people out there. The things we have to do to stand up against them leaves men broken, and empty. I can’t say I wasn’t relieved when they cancelled his deployment.  I know he wanted to go, but obviously God knew better. 

So, for David, and those like him who have a warrior’s heart, I pray for you that you will live long enough to be weary with war.  I pray that our men and women who have placed their first  class citizenship on hold, and become 2^nd class citizens, will find a moment to be proud of being human, more than being warriors. The warrior in me knows the exhilaration of being part of a vast army, while the Christ/man in me knows the joy of being meek.  Still, I know that outside of this bright beacon of hope, and liberty, are despots, evil minded, and yes, even the mentally ill in positions of power, which do not hold to my ideal of a Utopian world where killing, and malice are banished.  God has made you warriors to stand against them for us. I salute you, as once others saluted me.  I wore my uniform with pride, and can point to the successes of my time in service, but I would rather point to the successes of the savior’s love at work within me.  I would rather go to Nicaragua, and hand a child a soccer ball than to lob a grenade at a young boy who only a few years ago would have gladly taken the ball from my hand.  I would rather fill a shoebox with trinkets, little toys, and necessary items and send them off through Operation Christmas Child, than to see one more bomb dropped from an aircraft. 

Therefore, I’ll pray for all of you who serve, that you come home safe, unchanged, and whole. 

God bless all of you who are now, who have been, and those who will someday be warriors. 

Happy Veteran’s Day.