ALIVE

There are times I say things out of habit I wish I wouldn't say.  Most of my habitual speech is a product of over fifty years of being a Christian.  A good portion of that speech isn't found in the bible, but grew in Christian circles because it sounded good.  The other day I was talking to a friend of over 20 years when I suddenly realized how cliche I'd become.  Out of habit, he asked me how I was doing.  I have a small group of answers I use based upon who I'm talking to.  Some of them are cute, some of them are dull, and some of them are MEANT to be spiritual. 
"Praise God, I woke up alive and breathing, so I guess I'm doing good."  I replied. 
As soon as I said it I felt pricked in my heart.  Don't get me wrong, I've said something like this for a good portion of my life.  I remember hearing it for the first time as a teenager from an evangelist who said that anytime you wake up in the morning, you are blessed.  So, I've wrapped it up in my own special flavoring and done many different variations on that theme.  This time, I was stopped in my tracks.  There was so much wrong with what I'd said.  I stumbled around for a few seconds trying to figure out what I'd just done, and mostly to listen to Holy Spirit to tell me why He'd elbowed me in my spirit.  It only took a few more seconds, by which time I'm sure my friend was mystified by the look of confusion on my face.  My banter is usually fluid, easy, and quick.  Occasionally, I'll stumble around, but never over a greeting.  Suddenly I knew what I'd said glorified this life, and not the eternal life to which I place my hope. 
At 64 years of age, I am at the point in my life where my parents are nearing the end of their days.  Both of my wife's parents have passed on.  At one time, I had over thirteen aunts and uncles, now that list is down to four.  Three of my older cousins have passed this vale, and I don't know how long I have.  I'm not eager to die, nor do I believe this life is dreary enough to warrant departing by my own hand.  Yet, within me is the knowledge that I have a ticket to a better life, a different home, a brighter place, and a love greater than any I can ever know on this earth, and I've known love!
As Christians, I believe we can worship this life to the point that it becomes an idol.  We accumulate things that won't go in our coffins, we boast of our achievements that will be forgotten the moment we pass, and our money is more often spent on comfort than the needs of others.  These are the things that Christ warned us about.  We weren't supposed to make this place our home. 
A few years back someone I know lost their grandfather.  This simple man of God would go out every morning and walk about two miles out and then head back to his rural home.  This was his time of prayer.  It was when he chose to talk to Jesus.  One morning as he walked, and prayed, a vehicle struck him and he passed from life to life.  One moment he was talking with Jesus, and the next he was with Jesus.  While people were stunned by the suddenness of his death, and brokenhearted by their loss, he was celebrated for his life, and applauded into his glorious life. 
Another breath is simply more time to do the work I was purposed to do.  So, as my friend sat there wondering where I went in my brain, I remembered what my purpose was, and why my glib reply bugged me.
"I'm sorry for what I said."  I replied.  "I'm doing well, praise God, but someday, I'll be doing better."
I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for hanging on to this life.  It is our nature to survive, and for our bodies to cling to life.  I begrudge no one the battle to live another day.  On the other hand, moving on isn't the end.  That is where the peace of God is. 
Sadly this morning, my lawn is quiet.  The chatter of sparrows hasn't started because the sun hasn't even turned the horizon a dark blue yet.  It won't rise for another hour and I am about to go to church.  I'll worship God for the life he's given me, and the eternal life I have through His Son, Jesus.  If I pass this vale today, then I'll wait for all of you who are my friends.  Well, maybe I won't wait.  I'll just see you there.   

TENDERNESS

The other day as I was going into one of our local stores I happened on a scene that brought tears to my eyes.  A young mother and father were going in as I was getting out of my truck.  The mother had a newborn she was carrying in her arms, and the father was holding the hand of his little toddler daughter.  The little girl seemed happy and full of joy as she reached out for her mother.  With her arms full, there was no way the mother could scoop up her daughter, at which point the little girl began to cry. The father quickly scooped up his daughter and swung her up onto his shoulders, at which I could hear her cry turn into giggles.
Tenderness, plain and simple.
The reason it brought tears to my eyes is because even in my best moments I don't remember being that tender with my own children.  I'm not saying I wasn't ever tender, but it wasn't as natural as I saw with that young father.
If you look up the term 'tenderness' it means gentleness, and kindness.  God's own description of His nature is that he is gentle, and compassionate.  Gentleness and tenderness implies that the one showing tenderness is able or capable of being hard and callous to others.  It also implies that the one being treated with tenderness is physically smaller, or weaker than the one demonstrating tenderness.  God in his immense power and strength is tender, compassionate, and infinitely kind to those he created.  It was and still is in His power to completely obliterate or manipulate our fragile lives.  Instead he holds us tenderly and gently in his hand.  When we are old enough to walk on our own He holds our hands until we reach too far or want something that could destroy us.  Then He throws us onto His shoulders.
This relationship with the creator of the universe has become clearer the older I've become.  Like adolescents and teenagers, we can rebel and move far away from our loving, tender, Father, but it doesn't change His love.  He will always be there waiting and willing to scoop us up when we decide to come back to Him.
I know God loves me because he gives me a choice to love him back.  The power of choice is His greatest gift of love to us. It is proof of His tenderness that he gives us the choices we have.  He's not afraid of our choices, and at the same time He tries to help us make good ones. 
I've had people try to tell me how cruel God is because He lets people die, or go through horrifying experiences.  They'll throw out some terrible cruelty done by people to other people and ask me how He could allow that to happen.  My question is usually; "How do you suggest He take care of it?"  What would you do?   We don't have the benefit of seeing time from one end to the other.  We don't know who would be a monster, or who would be a saint.  Yet, in His immense love, the choice is there.  I don't want to be God, because I know my flaws and my nature.  It would be easy to say 'kill the Hitlers of the world before they are even born.  How many people would you be willing to snuff out of existence simply because they would later be monsters.  Eventually, you would become as monstrous as the ones you were trying to prevent from becoming monsters.  If you were God, would you tap their mind and make them 'good' people before they become 'evil?'  When would you stop allowing choice?  There is a tendency today to try to control how people think, what they can say, and what they can do, all in the name of safety.  It is an experiment that will end in disaster.  What constitutes a criminal act?  We really don't know what someone is until they do an evil act.  Till then we must be tenderhearted, and learn from the creator how to step back from the precipice of judgment.
Tenderness is the control of great strength, and the ability to keep your strength from hurting someone.  I always love to watch big muscled men pick up a little baby.  You know that these hulking strong men could crush the little life in their hands, but instead they tenderly cradle the little life in their arms.  To me, this is the definition of the tenderness of God.  Tenderness defines God. 
Outside in my yard, fragile sparrows are beginning to do their usual morning ritual.  They know a loving, tender, creator who's heart is ever concerned.  Jesus said not even one sparrow can fall to the ground without the Father knowing.  If He cares so much for the sparrows, how much more does He care for us.  If we trust him as the sparrows do, we'll see His tenderness as we swing gleefully onto His broad shoulders. We'll feel his unfailing compassion when we are cradled in his love.  Help us all to be tenderhearted toward one another.

IF

There is a word in my vocabulary that isn't very big, but has an immense power beyond its size.  That word is 'IF'.  

Try going more than five minutes without using the word.  I doubt seriously any english speaking person can go that long.  I looked up the word 'if' in as many languages as I could and found out that it is a small word in almost all languages.  Yet, as small as the word is, it signifies a profound understanding of the universe around us.  'IF' forms the basis of most computational programs across the globe.  'IF' forms the basis of most of our decisions as humans.  It is common to almost all cultures, and people groups.  IF is also the basis for most religions across our globe.  As a Christian, though, the word IF has come to be a symbol of doubt.  Within the word IF you find uncertainty and to some degree ignorance.  This weekend I made a statement concerning an action I wished to occur and used the word IF.  I was immediately rebuked for doubting and expressing negativity.  After much thought, I came to accept the rebuke, but at the same time I hold the same thought in mind to measure the degree of uncertainty with which I do not know the will of God for the situation I was speaking about.  In other words, God's plan may not be my will.  That is the danger of 'Word of Faith.'  Even when we know God's expressed will about general things in this life, we are often confronted with instances where His plan circumvents or overrides his will.  The problem with 'if' is that it can be presumptuous or it can be fearful.  IF is always a question.  A question implies choices and sometimes we don't do choices well.  We especially don't do choices well when it comes to the will of God.   We know from scripture that it is not God's will that anyone should perish, but that all should come to eternal life.  We also know that there will be those that won't.  Every day people die without repenting or accepting the saving grace of God. This is not God's will, but it is the truth.  The reason for this, is that God loves us so much, He gives us choices.  It is a loving God that allows us to have free will, even when that will brings Him pain, and even when it ends in separation from Him.  God gave us the 'if' so we could be uniquely able to accept or reject Him.  Anyone who looks beyond the next moment is confronted with 'if'.  Our choices determine not only our future, but the future of those we touch everyday, as well as unborn generations to follow.  In my own life, I've come face to face with a bad choice made many years ago by someone I love greatly.  That choice now has the energy to bring great love, or great disaster  to our family.  It was not that person's desire, nor their intent at the time to do harm, but it can.  It also can bring great joy to all affected IF those affected by the decision choose to let go of fear.  That choice so many years ago brought a great goodness into this earth, but the cost could be inestimable if forgiveness isn't offered.  I've seen in my short 63 years upon this earth that when we make decisions or choices that were wrong at the moment, God affords us an opportunity to make it right somewhere along the line.  Giving someone the opportunity to be forgiven is what God is all about. IF can color our days with joy, or sadness.  IF can shade us with peace, or burn us with fear.  Eternity hangs on IF. 

Humankind has immortalized IF in so many ways.  "If only,"  "If he/she,"  "if they", "if I,"  and a host of other variations filled with regret.  We often couch our regrets in "if I could do it all over again," then we fill in the blanks.  The thing with regrets, is that they do nothing to change what happened.  "I'm sorry" is nice as a sentiment, but it reveals a failure to value the 'if' choice.  Sometimes our 'IF' choices result in the death of another, or great bodily injury to another, and the apology that follows rings small in comparison to the harm done.  There are also many 'if' choices that we'll never see the results of, but down the road will play out in future generations.  "I'm sorry," will not remove or ease the sting of those choices.  That is why God gave us two laws to 'live' by.  His commandments should guide us at that point where IF connects with action.  Living by the greater law of love moves us into a higher threshold of IF.  The law of love removes selfish consideration from the 'if/then' equation.  Once that happens, love conquers fear, and peace becomes the expression of that love.  Love makes our choices clearer and less cluttered with IF.  Love is the word of faith we should all live by.  That is why the Apostle Paul could say in 1st Corinthians 13: 13 (KJV)  and NOW abideth faith, hope, and charity (love), but the greatest of these is charity. 

Faith and hope are 'IF's, love is certain.  When you live LOVE, you solidify faith, and strengthen hope.  Without LOVE, faith and hope are empty vessels, heavy weights, and tormenting burdens.  It is LOVE that shapes peace.  

This is where we are greater than the sparrows.  As I'm writing this the eastern horizon is beginning to glow with the promise of the sunrise.  I can see thin clouds in the grey blue sky, but they can't hide the fact that above them the sun will shine whether I see it our not.  don't worry that the sun isn't shining on me, because I know that somewhere it is shining.  I may not live another day to see the sun shine again, but I know the sun will shine.  As long as I can awaken to God's grace, and love, I will not fear. In that way the sparrow has me beat.   I can hear a dog barking, and yes my gentle sparrows are already chirping and playing outside my office window.  As much as I enjoy the sparrows perch, there is one thing I know... they can't know the love I know in Christ Jesus.  This is the power of 'if' in my life.  When I fulfill the law of Christ, my regrets are fewer, I have less apologies to make, and IF doesn't rule my life.  I can then live in Peace.  

THE END OF MY DANIEL FAST

WARNING:  THIS IS AN EXTREMELY LONG POST 

Fifty days!  If you’d have asked me at the beginning of this fast what I was thinking, I couldn’t have told you. It began as a simple whim in response to one sentence my daughter Amanda made while having lunch with me.  That one sentence was a seed that quickly began to take root.  The gist of what she told me, was that her Church in Wynne, Arkansas does a corporate 21 day Daniel Fast at the beginning of the year.  They do it for clarity, and direction, but as I sat listening to her, I became intrigued.  After I decided I wanted to do this for myself, I sat down and made a list of things I wanted answers for in my life, and things I wanted for the faith fellowship I love.  Then came the decision for how long I would fast.  It was one week before Resurrection Sunday (Easter) and I’d already embarked on a partial fast that week.  By Wednesday night, I felt impressed to fast till Pentecost Sunday.  That simple, that easy. 

As some of you have kept up with my journey, you’ve probably wondered what I was asking prayer for, and what I’ve gained. Others of you will probably care less.  I didn’t give you specifics, because I didn’t want someone artificially pumping me up, or purposely working me. One thing I will tell you from the outset, food was not on my mind when I began this, but it became abundantly clear, that food was at the core of everything. 

MY PRAYER NEEDS:

As an INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging) personality type, (of which I score in the high 70’s multiple times),  I often find myself at odds with what is expected of me as a father, husband, friend, and pastor, and what I ‘feel’ like doing.  My nature is to withdraw quietly within myself, and only allow a handful of people to get close to me.  I like my little home, with my little office, and the seclusion it affords. When I don’t like something, or someone, it is easy to withdraw, ignore, and isolate myself.    If someone hurts me, or makes unreasonable demands of me, I can simply escape to my little turtle shell.  Not always good, but at least it's safe.

My first prayer request was for God to show me how to love beyond hurt, and pain. 

Loving those who treat us good is easy.  Loving those who agree with us is especially easy.  Loving those who are constantly giving to you is easy.  I like easy.  It’s like those “Staples” commercials with the ‘EASY’ button. Who doesn’t want to keep pressing the ‘easy’ button all the time?  While I've been on this fast, EASY is not what I got.  Almost from the very first day, I was thrust back into past hurtful relationships, confronted with angry clients, and forced to do things I despise.  For example, every job I got called out on for the first two weeks was something I hated to do, and sometimes humiliating.  At 60 years old I was doing the very same things my father had me do when I was fourteen!  Digging holes, cleaning up crap from people’s messy lives, raking rocks, and wrestling railroad ties seemed to be all I was called to do. EASY was not on the menu.  The Holy Spirit was backing me into a corner where there was no way out.  MY PRIDE WAS HURTING. No matter how far I withdrew into my little turtle shell, the Holy Spirit was like a bulldog trying to get me to come out.  One particular day when a long time client cancelled a very long term job, I found myself battling all kinds of evil thoughts.  I won’t tell you the thoughts that came into my mind, but suffice it to say they were feelings of rejection, betrayal, and worthlessness.  I battled these thoughts for two days; “God! I’m supposed to be getting closer to you”  I screamed as I thought of ending the fast and burying my sorrow in a big puffy marshmallow cream filled ‘long John.’  “Where are you God?”   “What’s going on here?!!”  “What’s the use of being on this fast, if things in my life don’t get better.”  Then came the real anger.  “Well, that’s just like ‘so and so’”  I thought to myself.  “He got me all excited about doing a job and then backs out on me.”   By the end of two days I was mad at God, and darn right hateful toward the client.  (Yes, I do get mad at God, and I’m not afraid to admit it, because in the end, I am in fearful awe of Him.) What I think hurts God more than being mad at Him, is when we are angry at one another.  I nursed this anger for another day until Pastor Eric taught on ‘forgiveness’ that Sunday morning.  I’d allowed my desire for EASY to be the bait Satan used to make me angry at a good friend, and a good God.  I didn’t see my friend’s sorrow, nor did I care.  It was all about me.  I went home that afternoon from Church and bawled my eyes out, even as I wrote my blog.  I wanted to tell everyone what had happened, so I could get sympathy, but the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me.  I had to write the blog three times before my ‘Editor’ (the Holy Spirit) would let me post it.

 

I came out of that time with a better understanding of God’s Presence in the midst of our greatest betrayals.  It is easy to think God doesn’t feel like we do.  He’s God, right?  Nothing touches Him, right?  Wrong!  The next day, as I drove to my first job the Holy Spirit spoke into my resignation.  

“I was betrayed, too.” came the tender voice of the bulldog. “More times than you can imagine.”    

“Come on, God!  You’re wearing it out”  I said to myself.

The Holy Spirit wasn’t about to let me sulk.  “I gave everything I could give, and still people betray me.”  “I make such beautiful plans for people’s lives, and still they choose their own way. I have to watch in sorrow as they cancel out on what I could do for them.”  “You began this fast asking me to help you love beyond yourself, and instead you’ve whined and complained about what’s happened.  I’m asking you to trust me, that this will all be good in the end.”   That morning, I realized I’d slipped into self-pity once more. 

I had to accept that loving beyond myself isn’t a one-time easy fix.  It will be a lifetime of people doing and saying things that hurt me, especially those I cherish most.  Loving them in-spite of themselves is what I’m called to do, even if I don’t like it. 

MY SECOND PRAYER REQUEST WAS TO BECOME MORE DEPENDENT ON THE LORD.

From a strictly human viewpoint, that was the stupidest thing to ask God to do.  For me it was a behavioral change.  I’ve always trusted God, sometimes to the confusion of those who believe I should be more practical.  Still, I felt that there was a deeper dependency than what I’d already given.  I thought when I began it would be about him sustaining my strength without my usual diet.  EEhhhhhhh, No!  What came out of this request was something I’d not even expected, and which is still working in my life.  It was summed up in something my wife said to me during a not too pleasant conversation.  Still the answer was in front of me all the time.

 

As a faith filled Christian, who believes in living my faith out loud, it is hard for me to balance that against my natural skills, abilities, and proclivity to solve things for myself.  Simply put, I’m a doer. I wouldn't be a handyman if I wasn't.   I take after my Dad, who if things are quiet for more than ten minutes, believes something is wrong with his world.  As the ‘fast’ wore on, I found myself confronted with a sudden drop off in work, and cancellations.  I shared a little bit of this with you in an earlier blog, so I won’t bore you with a re-hash.  Suffice it to say, this has been one of the driest two months in the history of my doing the handyman business.  I’m down to the last $600 of my savings, and I don’t have any jobs on the docket.  I’ve questioned God, questioned me, and began thinking of whether I should try to re-enter the ‘employed’ economy.   I was driving home from a small job three days ago (Friday), when I began to murmur about the lack of work, and God’s apparent abandonment of me.  I wondered what the use was of being on this fast if it didn’t produce anything good in me.  Didn’t God see the sacrifice I was making?   Everyone at home, in my church, and in my family is looking at me, and it looks like I’m a fool. ‘Look at super spiritual Dave, he’s on this fast and everything is falling apart around him.’  

“I trusted you, God!”  I screamed out as I pounded my steering wheel.  “Where are you?”   I pulled over at the top of the hill overlooking the city, and sobbed like I haven’t sobbed in a long time.  From deep within me, the Holy Spirit began to calm the tears, I know it was Him, because it was feeling good to keep on crying.  If no one else would give me sympathy, I could at least enjoy a good pout.

NOT!

“When was the last time you asked me for work?”  came the voice of the Holy Spirit from deep within me.

“Umm, Thursday, Lord.”  I answered back smugly.  “Remember I asked for the prayer group to pray for me.” 

“When was the last time YOU asked me for work?” 

I hadn’t.  I’d been too busy, proclaiming, speaking positive, thinking positive, trying to not be a disappointment to my faith. 

“Lord, I need work.”  I said meekly. 

“Not good enough.”  Replied the Holy Spirit.  “I know you need work.” 

“What do you want?” 

That’s when the conversation with my wife came back to my mind.  We’d been discussing in not so easy terms, how people can come off as appearing arrogant when they don’t ask for help.  The modern church has become good at doing the business of church.  As the Church, we’ve become so good at it, that we’ve abandoned the basics of doing ‘CHURCH.’   We  don’t want to impose on people, or make unreasonable demands on people, therefore we often come off as not needing people.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re good at asking for money, or church attendance, but more than that is an imposition.  The truth is, WE ALL WANT TO BE NEEDED. As we become more like Christ, it becomes stronger in us.  Why?  Because that is what God wants, He wants us to need Him.  As our ‘Daddy’ He still gets rocked when we need Him. Our need for His provision is the beginning of our faith if we let it work in us.  He likes it when we get specific with Him.  Why?  Because, the more specific we become with Him, the less chance we have of just passing it off as something other than Him.  Come on, admit it, He’s generically good to all mankind.  He gives rain, to the just, and unjust alike.  Our planet continues to spin as it always has, and will continue to do so for as long as he deems it.  His specific blessings are to those who ‘depend’ on Him.  Every lesson to the Children of Israel throughout the Old Testament was based upon His desire to be their provider.  When we rely upon our own strength to do the impossible, we end up with the feasible, reasonable, and rational.  When we rely on God, we end up with the truly miraculous.  NOW FOR THE EARTH SHAKING TRUTH MOST CHRISTIANS WILL NOT LIKE; God often uses us to be the miracle someone else needs.  We become the only God someone may know. We can become the miracle God wants to work. 

Our greatest disappointments with one another as Christians arise because we didn’t ask or place a demand upon one another.  We assume that the Holy Spirit will inform our brother or sisters of what we need, and that it will just happen.  We assume that simple loving kindness will make our brothers and sisters do the right things, and be all loving, and caring.  That isn’t the case.  Why?  Because most of us, (myself included) are so self-absorbed, battle scarred, or focused on living this life, that we don’t think of other people as we ought to.  I’m the biggest offender.  When we don’t specifically ask for help, we end up carrying  a great big trash bag of disappointments we’ve gathered, and when someone doesn’t think about us as we think they should, we throw it in the bag, and drag it around behind us.  Before long, we become so bitter, we never let the one’s we love off the hook.  I had this lesson taught to me years ago when the Holy Spirit gave me an intimate view into the lives of people who’d disappointed me in my past.  Now, nearly thirty years later, I’m going over the same lesson in a different way.  Here it is in a nutshell.

Ask for help, and ask specifically!   That way, the answer will be yes, no, or maybe later. (Which is yes, but not now.)  Give people an informed opportunity to either disappoint you, or surprise you.  Forgive them when they disappoint, and acknowledge them when they surprise you.  If we don’t give people a chance to disappoint us, we come across as arrogant, and conceited. We have to afford people the opportunity to be the outstretched hand of God.  This makes us yielded, and vulnerable at the same time.  The bible calls it being submissive, which doesn’t only apply to being a servant, but also to allowing others to serve us.  When we’re vulnerable, we’re transparent. 

I’ve learned over the past 60 years, that some people are marvelously adept as meeting the needs of others, and other people simply want to feel needed by being asked.  We also have to learn to be honest, and forthright when a demand is placed upon us. Generic requests for help doesn't acknowledge the gifts we see in people's lives.  We all want to feel that what we do is valued, whether it is making that special cake, or cookies, or knowing how to fix a car, or providing transportation.  Yes, it can become routine, and even expected, but then don’t we treat God the same way.  We treat God like a vending machine that we believe spews out goodness just because we do good things, when actually he’s a cupboard full of good things waiting for us to ask if we can have some.  His favor is that we can ask.  It isn’t necessary to be strong all the time.

PRAYER REQUESTS FOR MY FAITH FAMILY

My prayer requests for my faith family are still in work.  I’ve already told you one thing I would like to see done in our church, and I'm waiting for the answer.  We have so many needs in our old building, and I become so frustrated when I either don’t have the time or the money to fix them. I'm believing God for the funds to allow me to be employed full time at the church,  That’s what I’ve been praying for.  I know, it’s self-serving.  I grimace when I write it.  Then, when I step into our building, I hurt because I know what I could do.  I’d just like to spend my last remaining years doing what I do best for the Lord. Then somebody call the Waaambulance before I die of self-pity. 

THE GOOD STUFF

OKAY, now for the good stuff, or maybe not.  This fast put me in touch with my body in a way I’ve never experienced before.  I’ve learned what sugar has done to me.  None of it good.  AS OF TODAY I’ve lost 28 pounds.  I now weigh 160 pounds!  Now, at 5’ tall, this isn’t an ideal weight, and I still have a belly.  I’m down to a 34” waist, which is what I had when I left the Air Force back in 1995.   When I left the Air Force I weighed 148 pounds, although my ideal weight is supposed to be 95 to 127 pounds, I haven’t weighed 95 pounds since my junior year in High School.  I weighed 128 pounds when I went into the Air Force.  So, with all of that said, I would be happy to weigh between 128 to 135 pounds as I cruise toward the end of my life.  I lifted weights while stationed on the Stealth Fighter, and I expect that a good deal of my ‘excess’ weight is muscle mass.  When I get down to 140 pounds I’d like to do a real BMI test to discover how much of me is muscle, bone, and fat.  Charts, and calculators don’t take into account people’s  body style.   So the weight loss was exciting, and addictive.  As I step off the fast, I intend to stay as close to the fast as possible.  No more soda pop, no more added sugars, and a huge change in bread intake.  Hamburgers, and hot dogs are a thing of the past.  Not because of the meat, but because of the breads.  I’ll have to be careful with potatoes, because I do love potatoes. Mostly, one of the things that’s changed is a desire to stay on this for my wife Glenda.  She’s been battling diabetes for the last fifteen years that I know of, and who knows how long before that.  I didn’t begin this with her in mind, but as I saw the correlation between her ‘diabetes’ diet and the Daniel fast, it became a powerful reason to stay into it.  I can continue this forever, if it allows her to be healthier longer.  That wasn’t in me before the fast. Before the fast, it was ‘her problem’, and I didn’t want it to affect what I ate.  I would take her out to eat with little concern for what it meant for her.  Now, I find myself understanding her situation.  So much of our western diet is more than we need, and not good for us.  Oh, it tastes good going down, but it ends up debilitating us in our golden years.  I realize how much I love fresh veggies, (just not asparagus, because I think of ‘Junior Asparagus’ every time she gets one from the garden.)  I also realize what I’ve done to my metabolism by ingesting all the sugar that I have.   

END OF LECTURE.

Finally, if the weight loss wasn’t reason enough, I also learned how sugar affects my moods, and my drive.  If I’d not been doing the fast, and still going through everything I’ve gone through this last fifty days, I would have lost it.  My emotions are on a much more even keel.  Believe me, as you’ve already seen, I still make mistakes, and occasionally my old stinking thinking tries to wake up, but overall, the fast has shown me how sugar regulated my life.   I’m actually looking forward to another Daniel fast, but this time I’d like it to be a 21 day fast with my faith family.   Heck, if a meat and potatoes guy like me can go 50 days, anyone can.  

Oh, and by the way, I ended the fast with a plate of Chili Colorado from Nopalitos here in Harrison Arkansas.  I didn't eat the rice, I had refried beans without cheese, and corn tortillas.  All in all, I feel good.

So, here is to believing God for more than I can ask for, more than I can dream of, and more than I can hope for.  I'm ready God. 

God Bless, thank you for all your prayers, and may all your desires be God’s desires.  

The Illusion of Power

Let me preface this blog, by saying that I've been studying Psalms 37 for inclusion into our Men's study on Sundays.  For over a month, I've been reading it, and rehearsing it.  I know it well, because many years ago, (too many) I put it to song as a lullaby for my children. Those many years ago, I didn't know what I know now.  Yet, it is nice to have the melody to rehearse the passage.  

I hope my Christian friends, and family will take the time to read this blog, and understand where I'm coming from, because in this present day, I sense hopelessness within the Church. I am not speaking to the wicked, because that is the job of the Holy Spirit.  I'm not warning the evildoers, for they have already been warned.  I want to talk to my Christian brothers, and sisters.  We have to be very careful about how we (Christians) carry ourselves in the face of dissent, and even outright aggression.  It is too easy to allow the hostility towards all things Christian to be viewed as criticism of ourselves.  God's admonishment through the Psalmist David is just as true today, as it was then.  Power is an illusion.  

The wicked, and the evildoer expend their energy, and resources on those things that will fade upon their deaths.  Even if they try to leave an inheritance to their children, it is quickly consumed, or stolen. If we take a stroll through history, we find those who had real power, never took it's mantle upon them. Real power is not measured in what you can take to yourself, but in what you can give away.  If at the end of this life you are empty of all that you possessed, you've exercised ultimate power.  The promise of Psalms 37 is implied and hidden within the obvious.  The wicked, and evildoers are grass, and herbs.  They get mowed down and wither.  There is another scripture, Isaiah 61:3 that tells us that those who trust in God shall be 'trees of righteousness.'  It is a vivid comparison.  The wicked may have their day in the sun, the powerful may breathe their hatred for life, but the righteous will endure.  Our greatest concern for the wicked, and the powerful should be prayerful concern.  Our greatest evil toward them should be to love their souls while they are yet breathing, and able to repent.  

Sadly, it is all too easy to become impassioned at the things we see the wicked getting by with.  We can be tricked into feeling that God doesn't see the things they do, nor is He just in letting them prosper while we suffer. We can be trapped into breathing out hatred, slander, and innuendo, which have nothing to do with being Christ like at all.  Do the powerful do dumb things?  YES!  Do the wicked live out lives of happiness while here on this earth?  YES!  Do the evildoers escape temporal judgement?  YES!  

BUT, they don't escape eternal judgment.  Eternity awaits!  

King David is remembered far more than the evil kings who surrounded him.  He has left an eternal mark upon the history of mankind.  Even more, he has left his mark upon the eternal course of life through his Son Jesus.

Psalms 37:3 puts it in the same light as Jesus did Matthew chapter six.  All of the sermon on the mount is about trusting God even in the midst of powerlessness.  It is about believing and trusting in what God said.  Then comes the admonishment:  "and do good."   It is that simple.  Trust God, and do good.  Jesus said that we have to 'do the things He said.'   If in our moral, or righteous indignation, we begin to hate, we are no better than the powerful who rely on themselves.  Our fire, and desire for judgment become a trap.  I don't agree with all that is done in government, business, and in society as a whole, but if I wish evil upon those who I perceive as wicked, I become trapped in wickedness myself.  I prefer to let God be the judge.  I prefer Him, because I know He is more merciful than I could ever be.  I prefer God to judge because I know he judged me worthy of His Son, and made a way for me to be redeemed when I was more wicked than any of those I judge.  

This last week, our church packed over 900 boxes for Operation Christmas Child, in a small corner of those boxes, in some small way, my heart will be carried to a small child who has never known the love of Christ. I believe in the small things.  I believe in the tender touches that have no way to be returned.  I believe in doing things for which there is no way for me to realize monetary gain, or to be applauded for what I did.  I prefer for my left hand not to know what the right hand is doing, lest my mind begin to be puffed up.  Somewhere in this world a little child will open a shoebox filled with love, and I will have realized the greatest power of all, the power to make a child smile.  That is the power of love.

Power is an illusion, LOVE is real.    

ONE DAY IN YOUR COURTS

From the sparrows perch, it becomes clear that there is a world of difference between the 'courts' of the tabernacle, and the Holy Place where it nests. From it's perspective, sin is a gory detestable business that defies explanation. The unending parade of men, and animals through the gate is punctuated only by the fact that the people come in carrying the lamb on their shoulders only to leave a short time later without the lamb. It is a mystery to the sparrow.  The lamb did nothing to offend the creator, yet it is the one slaughtered upon the smoking altar at the front of the sparrows home. Outside the tabernacle, men have even put out snares for trapping sparrows, that they might be sold as an offering. 

Wouldn't it be easier just to stop sinning? 

From the sparrow's perch it would appear that it is impossible for men to quit sinning. The stench of the courtyard is beyond comprehension as bile, blood, and flesh are cooked in the mid-day sun. 

THIS IS WHAT SIN IS TO GOD.

What I've discovered among those who claim to be Christians, is that there is an unspoken pact not to discuss sin. Don't get me wrong, we're often the first ones to bemoan the woeful condition of the unbelieving masses. Murderers, thieves, child molesters, homosexuals, abortionists, and a host of what we decry as affronts to the heart of God. We make it our job to remind the world of it's deplorable, depraved, and wicked condition. We've become geiger-counters for sin. We are like little children who've been caught with our hand in the cookie jar, only to point out what our sibling did yesterday. 

In my last blog, I hope I proved how stupid this mindset is, especially in light of the fact that there a probably a million things we do everyday that offend the holiness of a HOLY God. Our spiritual geiger-counter would be pegging even when no one else is around. No matter how splendid our religious gown is, no matter how many things we do, there is no way we can avoid the fact that we are naked before the Lord our God. Problem is, we think our rag-tag religious robes cover our shame. Many who call themselves Christians have no real idea of the SIN they've been pardoned of. They are so busy sewing sparrow feathers together, they don't even realize they're still naked before the eyes of God. Suddenly, through the words of Christ, we come face to face with the certain knowledge that the offense isn't outside of us, it is within us. There wouldn't be enough animals to sacrifice to cover our offenses to a HOLY God. Yet, Christianity has become one big animal skin business, chucking out weekly doses of feel good designed to smooth over the fact that very few of us are truly renewed or transformed. From the sparrows perch, it is business as usual. Same courtyard, same stench, different buildings.

I promised you I would explain what God's solution was for our nakedness and shame. You see, there is a notion in the mind of man, that Adam's sin caught God by surprise. IN that one thought you've just robbed God of his omniscience. At best, you've made HIM a bumbling fool, who blindly created this lump of flesh with the naïve hope it would serve him. You've relegated him to being no different than a man or woman wishing to have a child. It negates the fact that the “lamb was slain from the foundation of the earth.” Even in his disappointment, God proclaimed the salvation to come. His promise to the woman was as dear as any husband whose caught his wife in an adulterous affair. You see, even while Eve was Adam's help-meet, she was God's lovely bride. He lovingly formed her from the bone of man, and only after he'd made her, could he pronounce that mankind was “very good.” From this union of woman and man would come death, from the union of God and woman would come life. The promise of pain in birth, is also the promise of life. That salvation wasn't at the cost of countless animals, religious observances, nor the endless bowing to a religious idea. The salvation of man would be the man God intended us to be from the very start. Christ the Son of God, became the atonement, the passover, the sabbath rest, the scapegoat, the redemption and deliverer of all men. That is how the holiness of God is resolved. Outside of man, yet through man. The sin issue becomes a non-issue. In Paul's letter to the Romans, he tries to make it clear how we are saved through the sacrificial work of one man. (Romans 5:19 specifically) From the Sparrows perch, something amazing happens. The unending parade of men and animals ends. The bleating of sheep and goats no longer fills the courts. The lowing of cattle, and the soft call of turtle doves no longer echoes through the tabernacle. The parade of death unto death is over.

In my old age and long walk with the King of Kings, I've come to realize that all the energy I've expended trying to avoid offending God was wasted effort. Through the sacrificial work of Jesus upon the cross, I've stepped into a place of relationship. I don't have to avoid anything, his Holy Spirit leads me now. I know one simple rule and it is all I need to know, if it isn't love, (real love, not lust) then I've missed Him. If I miss him, Jesus is still there to restore me to righteousness. When I am restored, I can join the Sparrow as he flies freely into the presence of God. I can sing joyfully as I embrace the righteousness I could never purchase. Now the tiny sparrow can sing joyfully in my heart as he makes his home in this well worn tabernacle. Sure, it will soon be pulled down, and rolled up, but the presence of the most high will one day restore it to better than new condition.

Sing tiny sparrow, sing.