FAITH

I've been watching the commercial space program with keen interest as visionaries like Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos shape the future of space flight.  Space flight is unlike any form of transportation mankind has embarked upon in our long rise from the dust. I don't know why it terrifies us more than any other means of getting from point A to point B, but it does.  I guess I don't fear space travel because I was born during the birth of the space age.  I was born in 1955 and have seen the explosive journey to space through eyes of childhood wonder, and a growing sense of awe.  Seeing rocket boosters fly to the upper reaches of the stratosphere and return to land on wisps of fire and smoke is something I used to dream of as I watched old 'B' Sci Fi movies as a child.  At 64 years of age, I wonder how much more progress I will get to see.  I would love to see humans land on Mars before I pass this vale. 
You see, I'm a devout Christian who isn't afraid of science.  A matter of fact I embrace science as a reflection of the beauty of the Creator.  I never missed a shuttle launch, and as a child I watched every rocket launch of the Gemini, and Apollo Programs.  Then we stopped.  It was stupid!  So many of the good technological things we enjoy today were developed because of the space programs.  We lost faith in ourselves, and our technical prowess.  I know what caused us to lose faith, and it wasn't to do with rockets blowing up or near disasters in space. 
I'm going to shamelessly put a plug in for a trilogy I've written about the future in space, and you can read it chapter by chapter on my blog RaderWriter.  At the same time I want to speak about faith.  I want to specifically talk about Space X and their awesome push toward their dream.  What they are doing requires not only immense technical skill, vast financial resources, but it requires a vast faith in the vision that drives them. 
I know many of the scientists, and engineers would disagree with me about the source of their faith, but it is a gift of God.  We are a species who do more than hope!  Hope is great, but it doesn't launch rockets.  Knowledge is great, but it doesn't vision rockets.  Skill is great, but it doesn't propel rockets.  Faith does all that and more.  My marriage of faith and science is unique to me.  I had to create it at the young age of 13 as I contemplated using Schroedinger's wave law equation to discover the mass of a Neutrino.  At 13 I didn't even know what the wave law equation was.  My Uncle Jerry, a graduate of MIT used it in his Doctorate Paper to propose finding oil deep within the earth.  I just figured it would be a good tool to use.  I wanted to go to New Mexico State University on a weekend science symposium.  To go, you had to write a science paper and my paper was on Neutrinos.  I studied them till I was blue in the face, wrote my paper suggesting that we could place detectors in the Antarctic.  It was only eight pages long, and poorly typewritten.  When I got selected to go I was in shock.  To this day whenever I see the word Neutrino I have to stop and read the article.  Why am I saying all of this?
Because I believe that there is a huge disconnect between science and faith that doesn't need to exist.  It's the same disconnect I see happening as we become more angry at one another because of race, sex, or gender.  Religions separate us, cultures push us away from one another, and even issues of life separate us.  I believe in life, and I believe in each person's liberty.  These things shouldn't separate us, but they do.  I ache with sorrow because of the separation.  We can be so much more together than we are right now.  Sadly, I don't see it getting any better before it gets worse.  My world view is framed by a book called the Bible.  It is more than a history, more than a guidebook, it is a revelation of wonder. 
I've often wondered how the world is going to react when they discover microbes on our nearest neighbor Mars.  It would not surprise me.  Why?  Because I know our planet has been slammed by huge space rocks that sent much of our planet heaving into space.  I know they will find microbes just like those on earth, because they came from earth.  It is the same way I knew that a Neutrino had mass at 13 years old.  Some things are intuitive, and that too is a gift from God. 
I wish with all of my heart that I could visit Mars and look upon the soil of a distant neighbor. I also wish I had a physical image of a Neutrino instead of the indicators of its passing.  The same is true of my desire to see God face to face.  I long to see more than just the indicators of His passing.  I see His hand in the simple things just as surely as my Uncle could see oil as he measured sound waves passing through the earth. Finding microbial life on Mars doesn't shake my faith in God any more than finding microbes on our planet.  We're an arrogant species, filled with ourselves, and unable to even deal with one another let alone, God. 
I am optimistic, but realistic at the same time.  I want to see the day when we finally break the barriers that divide us as peoples.  I'm one of the privileged white males that seem to be at the center of every bad thing going on today.  In every generation, as mankind is ready to step beyond the limits of their frail existence and explore new possibilities we also demonstrate the need to blame others for our woeful shortsightedness.  I pray we'll live beyond this time in history where the fabric of our existence is being threatened.  As a Christian I know how this will end, but as a child of God I want a better ending.  There is a growing sorrow about what I see happening around me.  I'm old enough to let go of this life should I be threatened.  On the other hand, I have children, and grandchildren whom I wish to see live in peace and hope.  As long as the strident voices of anger and hate are given media attention this world is in peril.  This isn't a future I wish to see.  I want to  see Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos duke it out peacefully and develop the means to escape this world.  I hope to see the day when all of mankind realizes they are the DNA of God instead of the garbage of hate.  Our species must have peace with itself if we are to go beyond ourselves.  I know this thought violates the revelations of our Bible, but like Abraham I am begging God to hold back the judgement prophesied against us.  I am willing to grow old and die to see Him, while at the same time asking that no one experience His wrath for our wanton desire to kill each other. 
As I write this, I have my front door open and I'm watching the little sparrows combing through the dew laden grass for something to eat.  I don't know if they have wars, nor do I know if they have hope or faith.  Do they live angrily?  Do they do battle with each other?  Are we better being than they are?  Dear God in heaven, I don't know.  I hope we are.  Sadly, my passion for science is tempered by the knowledge that with every new scientific discovery, we discover a more terrifying way to destroy each other.  Science isn't the panacea for our worst inclinations.  Love is!!!   Still I hope for the joy of science while being realistic about what I've seen us do with it.  I hope we can move away from the precipice of prejudice, greed, and fear that envelopes us at this point in life.  Is my faith enough to say LOVE? Do sparrows love?  The Apostle Paul when describing the summation of his existence in Christ, wrote that three things abide.  That means they will go on beyond us.  Those three things are; Faith, hope, and love.  And, the greatest of these is love.

Awe and Wonder

I can still remember that magical (yes, it was magical) moment when I experienced awe, and wonder for the first time.  It was a mild fall evening in El Paso, Texas, in 1966.  I was lying on the grass looking at the moon through a 20x telescope I’d received as a gift that year.  For an eleven-year-old boy, that telescope was the invitation to worlds unknown.  Never mind that it wasn’t any better than a good pair of binoculars, or that it was almost impossible to hold it still without a tripod.  It was my ticket to the stars.  On that fateful October evening, my arms grew tired, forcing me to lay the telescope down to let the blood return to my arms once more.  The moon was just a sliver in the crisp desert night sky, and there were more stars that night than I’d ever seen before.  As I stared into the depths of space, I wondered where it all ended?  Where was the end to the vast field of stars that beckoned me?  What was beyond the end of the universe?. 

I couldn’t imagine an end.

As I peered upward, and outward, I experienced awe for the first time in my life. My heart rate went up, and seemed to suddenly stop.  The air left my lungs in a long slow breath as my infantile, finite mind tried to cope with the infinite.  The harder I tried to comprehend the vastness of the universe, the more awestruck I became.  In that instant, I became fascinated with all things ‘space’.  It was a good time for it.  The ‘space race’ was at its peak, and it seemed every day was a new leap forward to the cosmos.  I had tons of questions, and an insatiable curiosity.  Even as I became enthralled with science, astronomy, and rockets, I was also coming to know the creator of the universe in a much smaller space, my heart.  At first, the two seemed to be worlds apart.  It seemed as if science was trying to dispel the notion of God, while at the same time, religion as I experienced it, was at odds with science.  I wrestled many long nights with doubt, and disbelief. I knew within my heart, and spirit, that I was experiencing the presence of God through faith in Christ, but at the same time I knew what I was learning in the classroom didn’t allow for the idea of God.  The awe, and wonder of that magical fall evening slipped into a dull ache for the truth.  For a few years, I enjoyed the rapture of science as I became increasingly interested in visiting worlds beyond this rock we call home.  Science Fiction novels were a daily diet. Scientific American magazines littered my room.  My favorite atomic particle was the neutrino, and a paper I wrote in the 9^th grade on it, won me a trip to a science symposium at the University of New Mexico.  This was heady stuff for a wide-eyed teenager.  The tug of war between science, and faith went back and forth  throughout my school years.

I couldn’t imagine an end to the conflict. 

 A great sadness followed me for many years as I wrestled with my faith in God, and my love of science.  After High School, I became less concerned with science, and followed my faith.  When I was amongst Christians, I would never discuss science for fear of being revealed as a closet scientist.  I wouldn’t talk with anyone about the way I’d come to peace with both aspects of my being.  I didn’t want to be labeled a heretic, or unbeliever, when actually the opposite was the truth.  I’d raged war with myself, the tough stuff was over, and I was  believer in more than a savior.  I’d fallen in love with more than a cold, judgmental God.  I’d pushed past the dogma of both science, and faith,  into an intensely personal relationship with the One I know created the infinite.  It didn’t matter what others thought about my beliefs, I knew I loved the savior of my soul, His creation, and even the people on both sides who demanded absolute obeisance to their dogma.  I could talk with, walk with, touch, and feel the creator of this physical vale. 

I couldn’t imagine an end to this relationship with the Creator. 

Fast forward forty-seven years to a cold October morning where I came face to face with that same feeling of awe and wonder, and it came from the strangest of places.  I was reading an article on the internet concerning the Higgs-Boson, and its implications for the universe.  The article was this vast exploration of the different theories surrounding this elusive particle.  Almost every model created for studying the existence of the Higgs, ended in a catastrophic end to the universe.  The vast reaches of the universe had an end to it.  The Big Bang would end in a big entropic collapse.  Bummer!  Most particle physicists, and those who report on them embrace the end of the universe with the same religious fervor of fundamentalist Christians.  It becomes all they can talk about.  Particle physics becomes like the book of Revelation, a foretelling of impending doom.  Unified theories are just as elusive as proof of God’s existence.  String theory, superstrings, dark matter, gravity lensing,  everything we can think of comes to an eventual end.  Suddenly as I thought of all the struggle these scientists were facing in dealing with ‘how’ this universe works, I came face to face with my own struggle once more.  The men and women who obsess over what makes this universe work, and those who obsess over the One who makes it work, all have bills to pay, families to support, spouses to love, and children to nurture.  This universe goes on as it has for eons, and will go on for more time than we will live.  The profound things of the spiritual, or scientific are only profound to those who share in its intricacies.  At either end of the spectrum of faith, the zealots will beat their drums, and call for the death of the non-believers.  Somewhere in the middle of this silly debate, people like me, see the beauty of the Creator written in a little child’s giggle, or in the dance of sunbeams over orange, and fire laced clouds.  Life is more than what you can see in an equation, or in a spiritual icon.  This moment, this instant is infinitely more precious than infinity.   Whether you believe in God, or not, the question isn’t ‘what’ you loved, but ‘who’ you loved.  Throughout the world, cemeteries are filled with heretics, agnostics, fanatics, and scientists.  Parked next door to them are evangelists, pastors, prophets, and lay people of all creeds.  These things seem to get lost when the fires of passion rage among the faithful in either camp.  As I sat there considering the forecasted lifespan of our universe, it happened again, nearly forty-seven years after that fateful October night, I had another moment where my heart took off like a rocket, and my lungs emptied themselves in a slow exhale.  I know the answer to the problem, but it isn’t something I can put to numbers.  In the word of God, it says that in the end, God will roll up the universe like a scroll.  The prophets are right, and the scientists are right.  Both sides say it will all end, someday.  

Problem is, I still can’t imagine an end.   Therefore, I lean back in my chair, close my eyes, put my hands behind my head, and smile smugly. I experience the awe, and wonder once more, feeling the familiar presence of God more than ever before.  

THE CREATIVE CHURCH

I've never apologized for being a Christian.

There were times when I've felt embarrassed for those who call themselves Christians, who allowed themselves to be drawn into the media spotlight to defend some aspect of their faith. From the sparrows perch, faith appears foolish and childish in the cold hard glare of the media camera. There is nothing logical or scientific about faith. There is no apologetic argument that can prove God just as there is also no logical or scientific argument that can disprove Him. He exists above and beyond our futile attempts. Ever since I was a young man, I've always loved science and the exploration of our universe. I've always stayed at the far edges of the Christian paradigm, but have never lost my faith in a creator who created me to be creative. Actually, my heart breaks for those who've divorced science from the one who created it. It must be sad to spend your days in hot pursuit of an answer beyond the one given to us. You see, at the end of it all, the physical death of this fleshly vessel resolves all issues. It requires just as much faith to believe there is no God, as it does to accept the internal knowledge that he does exist.

I'm always amazed at the anger and malevolence of non-believers toward those who believe. Our liberal universities with all their claims to free thinking, will not tolerate or entertain the idea of intelligent design. Christian speakers are lambasted and ostracized before they ever appear. Scientific papers can't even allude to the divine. It is no wonder our universities, technical sector, and manufacturing giants are bemoaning the lack of science graduates. By their very antagonism, they are pushing away one of the most creative block of thinkers to walk the earth. By it's very nature, science doesn't imagine. That would imply faith. The life and light of faith moves beyond the mathematical construct into a dimension of thought beyond the numbers. Faith will always align with the numbers, but numbers don't always align with faith. That is the power of a creative spirit. It is the spirit God himself put in us. It is the spirit the church needs to regain.

I believe the church should be the most creative, talented, and innovative people on earth. We claim to hold the Spirit of God in these earthen vessels, yet we stifle that creative spirit by our dogmatic rush to “a better place.” The better place is now! The Kingdom of God doesn't begin on the day of our death, it began on the day of our spiritual birth. On that day, we became infused with the life giving, creative power of the Holy Spirit. Yet, as quickly as the newborn babe in Christ is put in the spiritual bassinet, the old heads who've had the light of creativity stolen from them, begin to bind up the newborn. Statements like; “You can't think that way.” “It'll never work.” “That's heresy.” echo up and down the spiritual maternity halls we call churches. The dogmatic, fearful, and those who lust after power, poison any attempt to express the joy of new birth.

Creativity should be one of the hallmarks of the Christian walk. We should be the ones who dream upon the stars and see new worlds at our fingertips. For example, Science Fiction writers don't create fantastic worlds for the sake of creating worlds we'll never see, they see them now, and they long for our world to be a greater place of understanding and creativity. They create an extraterrestrial world to resolve a terrestrial conflict. Christians live in an extraterrestrial Kingdom and we have the answer to the terrestrial conflict.

From my place on the sparrows perch, I see the unending parade of people who seek to know God, and the happiest ones, are the ones who are creative. These are the ones who recognize the impossible and will it to be done by faith. I see those things we wish we were, as guides to those things we will be. This brief stay upon this earthly vale isn't even our childhood in an eternal time line, it is more like the blink of an eye. I just think that the blink should sparkle with the light and life of a creative God.