YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN

There are times when I sit down to write this blog, and I wonder why I do.  What force drives me to cough up a couple of hours to say things that maybe two other people read. 
Writing is my voice. 
I don't have a natural charisma like my younger brothers, and I don't come across well in conversations.  I'm not physically attractive, so there is no reason for anyone to believe I have anything valuable to say.  I'm kind of like those sparrows who keep calling out in vain for someone to pay attention to them.  However, as I sit at my computer, I can imagine people nodding in approval as they read my words. I probably will never hear someone say; "Yes, David is a wise, educated man, worthy of honors far above his station in life."    Nah, I don't think so.
From the time I was in the sixth grade, writing has been my release.  When I was a youngster it was a release from the hurt, and anger I felt toward the mean kids who teased me day in, and day out.  You would not like to read those words today.  I don't even like to think that I wrote them.  If I were a student today, they would have me locked away.  Still, that time helped me to lay hold of my feelings, and process them.  I could do all the damage I wanted in my 'fantasy' life without really hurting anyone. 
Eventually, I came to accept my 'uniqueness' and find peace with the God who put that weight upon me.  Yes, I blamed Him. I talked about it to Him all the time!  I raged, I cried, I screamed, but most of all I wrote.  Till one day, people began to read my stuff, and they liked it.  WOW!  What a rush!   I discovered that words were powerful things.  From that time forward, I've written almost every day of my life.  I looked for avenues to release the words within me.  I have computer files that are almost thirty years old.  Now, I write out of an inner compulsion I can't explain.  My time on this vale is drawing to a close.  I can see the end now.  It doesn't bother me other than the fear I think all of us dread which is; I don't want to be forgotten. 
As part of my nature, I also like to do genealogy.  There is something exciting to finding the people who made me...me.  As I find a new relative in the obscurity of the past, I reach up, place my finger on their name and say; "You are not forgotten."  It means something for me to do that.  I have a relative from the early 1700's that no one can agree on her name.  They can't find a birth date, nor any of our family tree agree on even her first name.  The census taker who wrote it down, didn't have very good penmanship.  Every time I stop on her name I feel a sorrow for her.  She was someone's daughter, a father's joy, a mother's hope, and most of all she had dreams, and a life well lived.  She bore ten children into this world, and they carried her forward with them.  Yet, less than 300 years later, I can't find out with confidence who she was.  She didn't write blogs, she wasn't a journalist, and she didn't do anything I know of that was of any historic value, other than making ten children.  I want to be able to put my finger on her name and say; "you are not forgotten."  BUT, she is.  I would like to know if she was a great pie maker as many of the women are in her lineage.  I would like to know if she loved her husband, my fourth great grandfather.  Did she go to church on Sunday?  Was she kind, and tender like my grandmother was?  Did she have hopes and dreams beyond being a wife, and a mother? 
There is one thing I know.  Jesus said that not one sparrow falls to the ground that God doesn't know about.  We can know one thing above all else, and that is if God cares for sparrows so much that He knows when they die, then if no one else remembers me, God does.  He'll be there when I pass through the veil of this life into eternity, and he'll tell me; "You are not forgotten." 

FAITH

I've been watching the commercial space program with keen interest as visionaries like Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos shape the future of space flight.  Space flight is unlike any form of transportation mankind has embarked upon in our long rise from the dust. I don't know why it terrifies us more than any other means of getting from point A to point B, but it does.  I guess I don't fear space travel because I was born during the birth of the space age.  I was born in 1955 and have seen the explosive journey to space through eyes of childhood wonder, and a growing sense of awe.  Seeing rocket boosters fly to the upper reaches of the stratosphere and return to land on wisps of fire and smoke is something I used to dream of as I watched old 'B' Sci Fi movies as a child.  At 64 years of age, I wonder how much more progress I will get to see.  I would love to see humans land on Mars before I pass this vale. 
You see, I'm a devout Christian who isn't afraid of science.  A matter of fact I embrace science as a reflection of the beauty of the Creator.  I never missed a shuttle launch, and as a child I watched every rocket launch of the Gemini, and Apollo Programs.  Then we stopped.  It was stupid!  So many of the good technological things we enjoy today were developed because of the space programs.  We lost faith in ourselves, and our technical prowess.  I know what caused us to lose faith, and it wasn't to do with rockets blowing up or near disasters in space. 
I'm going to shamelessly put a plug in for a trilogy I've written about the future in space, and you can read it chapter by chapter on my blog RaderWriter.  At the same time I want to speak about faith.  I want to specifically talk about Space X and their awesome push toward their dream.  What they are doing requires not only immense technical skill, vast financial resources, but it requires a vast faith in the vision that drives them. 
I know many of the scientists, and engineers would disagree with me about the source of their faith, but it is a gift of God.  We are a species who do more than hope!  Hope is great, but it doesn't launch rockets.  Knowledge is great, but it doesn't vision rockets.  Skill is great, but it doesn't propel rockets.  Faith does all that and more.  My marriage of faith and science is unique to me.  I had to create it at the young age of 13 as I contemplated using Schroedinger's wave law equation to discover the mass of a Neutrino.  At 13 I didn't even know what the wave law equation was.  My Uncle Jerry, a graduate of MIT used it in his Doctorate Paper to propose finding oil deep within the earth.  I just figured it would be a good tool to use.  I wanted to go to New Mexico State University on a weekend science symposium.  To go, you had to write a science paper and my paper was on Neutrinos.  I studied them till I was blue in the face, wrote my paper suggesting that we could place detectors in the Antarctic.  It was only eight pages long, and poorly typewritten.  When I got selected to go I was in shock.  To this day whenever I see the word Neutrino I have to stop and read the article.  Why am I saying all of this?
Because I believe that there is a huge disconnect between science and faith that doesn't need to exist.  It's the same disconnect I see happening as we become more angry at one another because of race, sex, or gender.  Religions separate us, cultures push us away from one another, and even issues of life separate us.  I believe in life, and I believe in each person's liberty.  These things shouldn't separate us, but they do.  I ache with sorrow because of the separation.  We can be so much more together than we are right now.  Sadly, I don't see it getting any better before it gets worse.  My world view is framed by a book called the Bible.  It is more than a history, more than a guidebook, it is a revelation of wonder. 
I've often wondered how the world is going to react when they discover microbes on our nearest neighbor Mars.  It would not surprise me.  Why?  Because I know our planet has been slammed by huge space rocks that sent much of our planet heaving into space.  I know they will find microbes just like those on earth, because they came from earth.  It is the same way I knew that a Neutrino had mass at 13 years old.  Some things are intuitive, and that too is a gift from God. 
I wish with all of my heart that I could visit Mars and look upon the soil of a distant neighbor. I also wish I had a physical image of a Neutrino instead of the indicators of its passing.  The same is true of my desire to see God face to face.  I long to see more than just the indicators of His passing.  I see His hand in the simple things just as surely as my Uncle could see oil as he measured sound waves passing through the earth. Finding microbial life on Mars doesn't shake my faith in God any more than finding microbes on our planet.  We're an arrogant species, filled with ourselves, and unable to even deal with one another let alone, God. 
I am optimistic, but realistic at the same time.  I want to see the day when we finally break the barriers that divide us as peoples.  I'm one of the privileged white males that seem to be at the center of every bad thing going on today.  In every generation, as mankind is ready to step beyond the limits of their frail existence and explore new possibilities we also demonstrate the need to blame others for our woeful shortsightedness.  I pray we'll live beyond this time in history where the fabric of our existence is being threatened.  As a Christian I know how this will end, but as a child of God I want a better ending.  There is a growing sorrow about what I see happening around me.  I'm old enough to let go of this life should I be threatened.  On the other hand, I have children, and grandchildren whom I wish to see live in peace and hope.  As long as the strident voices of anger and hate are given media attention this world is in peril.  This isn't a future I wish to see.  I want to  see Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos duke it out peacefully and develop the means to escape this world.  I hope to see the day when all of mankind realizes they are the DNA of God instead of the garbage of hate.  Our species must have peace with itself if we are to go beyond ourselves.  I know this thought violates the revelations of our Bible, but like Abraham I am begging God to hold back the judgement prophesied against us.  I am willing to grow old and die to see Him, while at the same time asking that no one experience His wrath for our wanton desire to kill each other. 
As I write this, I have my front door open and I'm watching the little sparrows combing through the dew laden grass for something to eat.  I don't know if they have wars, nor do I know if they have hope or faith.  Do they live angrily?  Do they do battle with each other?  Are we better being than they are?  Dear God in heaven, I don't know.  I hope we are.  Sadly, my passion for science is tempered by the knowledge that with every new scientific discovery, we discover a more terrifying way to destroy each other.  Science isn't the panacea for our worst inclinations.  Love is!!!   Still I hope for the joy of science while being realistic about what I've seen us do with it.  I hope we can move away from the precipice of prejudice, greed, and fear that envelopes us at this point in life.  Is my faith enough to say LOVE? Do sparrows love?  The Apostle Paul when describing the summation of his existence in Christ, wrote that three things abide.  That means they will go on beyond us.  Those three things are; Faith, hope, and love.  And, the greatest of these is love.

THE AMAZING

With all of my years of writing this blog, I don't think I've ever disparaged my little sparrows.  They go about their short lifetimes flitting from place to place, chittering and chattering, without a clue that they are a source of entertainment for one little old man.  I never see their nests, but I know they have young.  I never know their names, but they seem to know one another.  They live out their lives without worry or fear of whether they will have enough to eat, or whether they have the latest...whatever is the latest in sparrow life.  Human beings seem to be the only creatures who concern themselves with the next moment in life.  No matter how many movies Hollywood tries to make showing animals talking or going about their lives, they are actually reflecting us.  We are amazing creatures! Apparently unique in our approach to life.  We are the only creatures that seem to demonstrate the amazing capacity for love.

The kind of love I'm talking about is not affection, devotion, lust, or loyalty.  These traits are commonly attributed to animals, and we see them at work every day in our pets.  My wife has a dog, I don't.  It's her dog, and I purposely let it imprint upon her.  We've given Bea  a home now for ten years, and she is a daily part of Glenda's life.  Bea brings Glenda joy, and a sense of purpose that disappeared when our children became adults and moved away from home.  Bea does funny things that I interpret through my human lens, but I do know one thing, she doesn't love Glenda the way that Glenda loves her.  Human love is amazing!

Love is THE amazing!  I'm often saddened when I see the word love misused in movies, and in music.  Love gets confused with lust, infatuation, interest, and host of other character traits in our modern society.  Even Christians who proclaim their belief in the embodiment of love in Christ miss the mark.  Our failure to understand love isn't because we don't have examples, it's because real love demands that WE die.  Real love stands above selfish concerns, and places the needs of another above ourselves.  Sadly, I know I haven't arrived there, yet.  No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I never seem to move in 'The Amazing' as I see others do.  I know why, it's because of fear.  The bible tells us that 'perfect love casts out fear', but I watch myself become a victim to fear every day, even when I don't want to. 

Today, I see fear mongering in every aspect of our lives.  Fear dominates our politics, businesses, and most of our relationships.  One thing that alerts me to when love is not the main factor in someone's life is when they say; "But what about me?"  The minute I hear that statement in its many variations, I cringe.  They've lost sight of the amazing!  The minute we begin to wonder if someone around us got more than we did, or received something we didn't, then we've embraced fear and abandoned the amazing.  When we're worried that the guy next to us got a raise and we didn't, we've abandoned the amazing.  Fear is the thief that robs us of the amazing. 

When we are young hormonal animals, we often confuse love with lust.  The amazing gets replaced with passion, and passion becomes the driving force.  As the premarital counselor for our faith fellowship, I know that passion and lust are the operating factors in the choice of a spouse. As I counsel these young people I try to warn them that the passion they feel now will diminish.  I warn them that they shouldn't make the ordinary normal function of reproduction the measuring stick for the amazing.

There never seems to be a consequence for throwing ourselves at one another until it produces the fruit of our lusts.  For, while we are creatures capable of amazing love, we are also capable of reproducing that love in the form of children.  Then we truly discover The Amazing, and many like myself, realize that we were not prepared for the amazing gift of life entrusted to us.  It is from that point on, when we hold the consequences of our passions, that we realize we are looking at the amazing. 

Not long ago, I had a DNA test given to me for a Christmas present.  I did the test, and have had my eyes opened to the power of the amazing.  I won't say how many, and I won't say how they are connected to me, but I've been contacted by a lot of people wanting to know why my DNA showed up in their list of matches.  Most of the time, it is people who were given up for adoption looking for their parents.  One question I ask is if the adopted person had good adoptive parents, and almost all of the time the answer is yes.  I think the bigger question these people are asking is; 'Why wasn't I amazing enough to keep?'  'Why would they abandon me like that?'  See what I mean by fear stealing love.  It didn't matter that they were loved by complete strangers who chose to make them a part of their lives.  It seems to only matter why they were rejected.  No matter how I try to help them find whatever parent they are missing, I know they are looking for 'The Amazing.'   They are looking for love! 

Because this blog is always about the peace of God, let me say clearly that true love brings peace. I've only ever been at peace when I've been embraced in love, or giving love.  That is the power of the amazing!  Without love there can't be peace, because there is no fear in love.  Fear never has peace, but thankfully love will truly conquer all.  We just have to let it. 

A WEEK OF TECHNOLOGICAL TRIUMPHS

For those who won't read earlier blogs, the reason I call this blog the Sparrow's Perch, is because of Psalm 84:3 and Psalm 91. I can imagine the Psalmist going to the Tabernacle, and wishing he could flit in and out of the Holy Place like the sparrows. The tender reference to being under HIS wing, and the thought of God as a refuge, ring out from the Psalms. So, it is when I sit up here in my office. The sparrows, pigeons, and crows don't usually wake up until I'm almost ready to leave. It is mid-fall, and the sun doesn't break over the horizon until almost 7:30. During the height of the summer, the birds are carrying on by at least 5:30 in the morning. I miss their chatter, and bathing in the puddles on the flat roof just outside my window. I've often thought about putting a bird bath out there, but they have a lake, Ha :) just across the street. It wouldn't be for them as much as for me.

This week in Science has been an exciting time. The Mars Rover Curiosity found a cool unexpected rock, and Felix Baumgartner became the first man to freefall faster than the speed of sound. These feats are amazing! These technological feats make it is easy for us 'human beings' to think we have it all going on. We THINK, and that makes us special. Yet, in many ways, we have sold our birthright for a pot of boiled meat. We no longer depend upon the Lord for our daily bread. We have our brains, and our hands to feed ourselves. Who needs God? It is why we spend billions of dollars going to a planet we know is hostile to us, hoping for that one glimpse of a microbe that would prove God isn't the creator of the universe. It is why we spend billions of dollars looking out to the Stars hoping to find the one conclusive piece of evidence that will prove once and for all that WE are right, and God is wrong. Those who deny God will be able to point out how “knowledge” has shred the last vestige of religion, and dissuade even the most ardent believer. The purist scientist will finally be able to declare that we were an inevitable process of the universe, formed of a primordial stew that is possible anywhere within any trillion of star systems in the millions of galaxies that populate our universe. (LONG SENTENCE ON PURPOSE TO PROVE HOW KNOWLEDGE IS WONDERFUL)

Freed from the chains of religion, what is man capable of?

NOTHING MORE than he has done throughout the history of his miserable existence outside of God.

So, while an amazing piece of technology creeps along on a distant planet, and a man leaps from the edge of space, the sparrows come to my window sill and amuse me. They know their provider is good, and so do I. They know the one who brings rain and withholds it all at the same time. They aren't concerned with the scientific process, because knowing is only knowing. It doesn't change anything. As someone who has always had a love of science, science fiction, and astronomy, I am always brokenhearted at the 'reason' for discovery. What a shame. So, let me offer this to those who might be sitting on the fence of doubt and faith. Faith costs you nothing, doubt steals everything. In the end, when this tent is rolled up and placed into the soil from which it came, my spirit will explore those worlds that loom just beyond my touch. Eternity will not be spent in useless nothingness. For even as science is beginning to discover, this universe is made up of stuff we can't see or explain. We know it is there, we think we know how it should behave, but every day we realize we had it wrong. We spend so much time, and energy exploring the universe around us, but so little time growing the eternal love that is within us.  Is eternity one of those things we want to get wrong?

I guess it depends upon your perspective. A little sparrow has just cocked his head and danced away.  His perspective is the one I like.