35 Days In: Tough Week

It’s now day 35 on the Daniel fast.  I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but this is the longest I’ve ever gone in my life without a soda pop.  This is definitely the longest I’ve gone without eating meat of any kind.  I feel great physically, and I’m still enjoying the sense of freedom that flows from being in a fast. The desire to complete the fifty days was dealt a serious blow this week, when my business hit a serious slowdown.

 AN UNEXPECTED SLOWDOWN

As a handyman, I’m accustomed to my business slowing two times a year.  It usually slows down about a week before Thanksgiving, and continues being slow until right after Christmas.  I’m also accustomed to it slowing down about the last week of May until about the fourth of July.  That is why I’m able to go to Nicaragua during June.  This year instead of doing the usual missions trip to Nicaragua, I chose to attend our family reunion in Corpus Christi on the Fourth of July.  I miss my brothers, and this may be the last time my parents and other members of their families will be able to get together due to their ages.  So, it seemed important to forego the mission trip.  WOW!!   I was not prepared for the summer slowdown to hit this early.  Actually, I’d hoped to be busy enough to make it all the way up to the week before leaving.  I’d saved enough money to make the trip, but now I may have to rethink.  I may need that money to pay bills.  

What does all of that have to do with the fast?  Everything!  When you are in a fast, there is a heightened spiritual awareness.  As someone who depends upon the Lord’s provision daily, (I’m not truly self-employed, but God-employed) I’ve been wrestling with all kinds of doubt, and yes, fear over whether I’ve made the right decisions.  Not stark raving fear, but nagging, life sapping worry.  It would be a lie to say that I haven’t wondered what is going on.  I’ve watched two big jobs get cancelled because the clients had financial reversals.  The phone was silent, and I hung out at the church for three days last week.  All the while, I was wondering if I’d made the wrong decision on not going on the mission trip.  Maybe I should have tried to do both.  As it looks right now, I may not have the money to even go to Corpus Christi.  Did I miss the Lord in this one?  When I began the fast, everything looked good, now, as it is drawing to a close I find myself facing one of the worst slowdowns I’ve ever been in.  At sixty years old, I am too old to begin looking for a new job, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to attend the family reunion. Still, if I have to go back into the job market I will, I just don't want to move so hastily that I miss out on something good. (Edited Part that got dropped: I believe God will make a way, He always has, and always will) So, I hope you can understand, that my spirit was under great attack last week.  I have enough work this week to pay tithes, pay bills, and keep gas in the rig, but it won’t be enough if I don’t get some work.  I’d appreciate any prayers, or even spiritual word from those who love me and care for me. I don’t like taking from people, so I prefer prayers.  I like work, so work would be great.  Please uphold me in prayer.

PLEASE PRAY

As I’ve sought the Lord during this time of fasting, I’ve been asking Him to do a special work in our faith family.  I've been reluctant to share the request, because there is no good way to explain it without it appearing to be self-serving.  I would like to see our fellowship blessed so that I can leave the handyman business behind, and work at the church full time.  At the same time, I don't want to take away from the many churches, and missions that we serve. There are many things that need to be done in our old building, that we don't have the funds to do because we are sending so much money to foreign missions.  I have the skills to fix the problems, but I'm still not old enough to retire.  I know it sounds selfish, but at the same time, it's what I truly want in my heart of hearts. So, if you’ve been following me in this, please pray that God will move in this area, or at least allow me to know if the answer is 'no.' I can continue to do handyman work for another couple of years, but I'm still strong, and would like to concentrate my strength on getting our wonderful building brought up to prime condition.   

  

In the personal arena, I’m still needing God to move on two issues I’ve placed before Him.  One of them is attitudinal, and the second is behavioral.   I began this fast with the expectation for a great move of God in my life, and in our faith family.  Still hoping, if not a little bruised. 

I don’t like to share the negative stuff, but sometimes you have to in order for people to know how miraculous God’s deliverance is.  I’m expecting awesome answers, and to share an awesome testimony of what God has done in my life, and the lives of my faith family. 

Now, on to some good stuff.  Spiritual revelation unrelated to work continues to be powerful.  When I read God’s word, I’m able to see things I’ve never seen before.  It’s fun to have new ideas explode into my head as I read.  I especially enjoy having old ideas challenged by new revelation. 

Another bright spot, is how my emotions seemed to have come under greater control.  I am a passionate person on all emotional levels, with anger being the worst.  Frustration, conflict, and fear often won the day in the past.  Now, it takes a lot to push me over the top.  I think a lot of it has to do with a decrease in sugar intake linked to an increase in spiritual intake.  There would have been a day when the slowdown I faced last week would have caused me to be irritable with Glenda, and others around me.  Instead, I found myself calmly concerned.  Now for those of you who have mastered your angers and fears, don’t judge me too harshly, just continue to pray with me that God will do a complete work in me.

PHYSICAL SIDE OF THE FAST  

Finally, the physical changes!  The weight loss seemed to have slowed down, I only lost two pounds this week I’m now at 166 pounds.  However, I did have to take my belt up another notch!?  Confused about that, but I’m sure someone knows how that can be.  I’d figured that a notch in my belt equated to about seven pounds of weight loss, but not the case this week.  Having gone through the de-tox phase in the second week, I was surprised when I had another event this week.  Thankfully I was at the church that day, and it didn’t affect my work.

 

I’m loving this fast more than anything I’ve done spiritually in a long time.  After the fast is over, I’ll try hard to live as close to the lifestyle it has wrought in me.  I truly believe it was ordained of the Holy Spirit in order to bring me to a healthier, more balanced me.   I’m not satisfied with 21, or even 50 days, I want more.  If in the end of this, I’m not ruled by my emotions, my gut, or even the crazy fears that arise out of everyday life, I’ll be a happy man.    

TWENTY NINE DAYS IN

What an unusual place to be in.  I’m 29 days into the Daniel fast, and I’m amazed at how much is changing around, and inside of me.  With that said, I had one of my worst days this week, due to working conditions. 

Now, before you think I’m getting ready to whine let me tell you, I’ve had a job since I was ten, and working has never been something I wished to escape.  I enjoy doing a hard day’s work.  I’m sure I owe a lot to my father, who can’t sit still for more than five minutes unless it is in front of the TV.  He is 80 years old and still going strong.  I can only hope I’m as active as he is, at that age.

ANYWAY, I scheduled myself one of those extremely physical jobs, at a place far away from any restaurant, or from home.  I brought my trail mix, water, and nuts.  Eight hours, five railroad ties, and a cubic yard of dirt later, I was hurting BAD!!!!  My bad, I forgot to bring protein, and fresh fruit.  I’LL NEVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.   I was shaking like a leaf, and my muscles were screaming for protein.   Just poor planning, as I said erlier, the worst day ever on the fast. 

My prayer list, the reason for doing this fast is getting shorter every week.  If you are a friend or loved one reading this, I’m going to ask you to join with me in praying for two more personal needs, and one that affects our faith family. 

To my faith family, beginning today, there are 21 more days until Pentecost.  If the Holy Spirit leads you, join with me to begin the Daniel fast to see one of the most powerful Pentecost Sundays we’ve ever experienced.  If you don't think you can do 21 days, try going for the last ten days before Pentecost As I’ve said before, I can’t prove it, but I can’t help but wonder if those who were in the upper room that day, hadn’t been on a ten day Daniel fast as they tarried.  Just conjecture.  If you would like to join in the fast, I’d be glad to share what I’ve learned during this time, especially some of Glenda's awesome salad ingredients.  The fast takes preparation, thoughtfulness, and mindfulness, but it is worth it. The fear of doing without meat, sugar, and dairy can be overwhelming, but if the Holy Spirit gives you the unction to do it, you will be able to do it.  

As I embark upon the last 21 days of the fast, I intend to pump up my devotion time, put away some of the distractions, and read some good Christian books.  I’ve bought two new books, and I’ll let you know how they are as I finish them.  With that said, I want to promote “Face to Face with Jesus” by Samaa Habib.   Having already read it twice, I am going to do it one more time, especially if I begin to feel sorry for myself on this fast.  Which hasn’t happened yet. 

OKAY, I’ve held it off till the last.  The physical benefits of the fast are beyond compare.  I’ve been reluctant to share numbers because I’m a little bit vain when it comes to my weight.  At five foot tall, I’ve always been a heavy man.  I graduated from High School weighing in at 110 pounds.  By the time I went into the Air Force seven years later, I weighed 123 pounds.  When I left the Air Force in ’95’, I weighed 148 pounds.  By the time I began the Daniel Fast, I weighed 188 pounds.  It seemed like every year I was adding two pounds to my weight.  Today, I weigh 168 pounds, which translates into three notches on my belt, (I had to create the last notch.) The love handles are less pronounced , and my outie is beginning to shrink.  I am wearing clothes that I’d relegated to the back of the closet.  My energy level (with the exception of Thursday last week) is much better.  The biggest difference is in what I can taste, and what I enjoy.  As a meat, and potatoes guy, I’m thrilled to discover how much I love vegetables, fruits, and nuts. I still don’t care much for mushrooms, but that is a texture issue. I’ve never liked slimy food. When the fast is over, I am going to carry this over with slight additions of meat, coffee, and cheese.  I DO MISS COFFEE!         I salivate every time I walk by my espresso machine.  When Glenda makes her coffee, I have to disappear.  

So, for those who say they can’t do the Daniel Fast, I say you can.  Glenda (my wife) admitted she was shocked that I could leave meat and potatoes behind.  So, it can be done.

There you have it, Day 29, doing well, looking forward to Pentecost Sunday.   NOT FOR FOOD, but for what I hope God is going to do.   

DANIEL FAST: 21 DAYS IN AND DOING FINE

It’s hard to believe I’m already on day 21 of the Daniel fast.  In a way, I almost feel guilty because I haven’t suffered.  A matter of fact, I find myself enjoying it.  Is this supposed to happen?  Aren’t I supposed to be afflicting my soul, and mourning?  Instead, I am enjoying the freedom it is giving me.  Today, I saw one of the things I’d been praying for come to pass in our faith fellowship.  The past couple of years have been trying on our fellowship, and many (including myself) had succumbed to a quiet discouragement.  Illness, offense, and unrealized dreams had stretched our hope and trust to a thin strand.  My prayer had been that hope would be reborn in our fellowship. Today, I felt it was.

 

Throughout this fast, the Holy Spirit has spoken to my spirit, “I have spoke, and it will be.” Today, through the Pastor’s message, the Holy Spirit changed it up to “Speak, and it will be.”  These are the words of life that make living for Christ such a real blessing. 

This week has also seen a complete reversal of much of the turmoil from last week.  Each day has brought fresh revelation, with an even deeper understanding of the Word of God.  So much so, that even our Praise and Worship services seemed to echo our daily bible reading.  ESPECIALLY TODAY!!!!!

So, here I sit trying to relate to you how sweet this fast is, and I don’t know how.  I can tell you the physical transformation is phenomenal.  I’ve lost 13 pounds, and haven’t suffered one bit.  A matter of fact, I’ve come to look forward to the many variations of salads that Glenda prepares.  She is making this fast so easy.  I was able to put on a ‘small’ T-Shirt last night, something I haven’t been able to do in eight years.  A matter of fact, I weigh what I weighed eight years ago when I began being self-employed.   I put on a pair of jeans this morning that just a month ago, I couldn’t even pull up to my thighs. 

I haven’t missed anything except for breakfast. Oatmeal with apples and raisins is wearing thin.  Other than that, I’m doing fine.  I hadn’t realized how badly sugar had overtaken my life.  Dr. Pepper, ‘Long Johns’, and all kinds of other sweet junk had a hold on me.  Now, that I don’t eat any sugar, I find I can even smell it in food. 

 

I’ve got 29 days left, one more prayer item left for the church, and about three other personal battles I want to overcome.  I’m looking for the answers.   Just call me EXPECTANT!!!!!!!!

WEEK TWO OF MY DANIEL FAST

This makes week #2 of my Daniel fast and, I am truly amazed at what is going on inside of me more than what is happening to my body.  Don’t get me wrong, I am excited by the changes in my body, I have lost eight pounds, bringing me to what I weighed eight years ago.  The real change has been in my spirit, which is what I’d hoped for when this began. 

Revelation with understanding is coming to me at all times of the day now.  Scriptures are alive and filled with meaning.  Things that I once thought I couldn’t understand any better, are beginning to be deep wells of truth that are fresh and new. 

Another benefit is reduced anger.  It seems as if it takes more and more to irritate me.  Probably the worst time this whole week, was Wednesday. Tax day is always trying, and was even more so because I couldn't get on line to my tax site.  Still, instead of getting angry, I was able to stay at it even though I ended up going 38 hours without sleep.  Talk about a miracle from God!!!

 

As for my prayers, I know that God is already opening doors in Nicaragua that have been shut before.  I’ve been praying for a breakthrough in the ministry to the village of Guadalupe, and I believe by the grace of God, that we are going to see miraculous things done there.  Please continue to pray for Mauricio and Eva, that their efforts will be rewarded.  Theirs is a daunting task, and it is easy to become discouraged.  Many things can only be done by God, which is why I ask you just to pray for them.  God will have to do the rest. 

I've also been praying for the Mission's trip to Nicaragua.  Our team going to Nicaragua this year will be small, but they will be powerful.  I wish I was going with them, but being with my family is important to me and them this year.   I’ve been hearing the words “Sweep Clean” ever since our last visit.  It is so thrilling to see how beautiful Iglesia Bautista Jehovah Nissi is becoming.  I am praying for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon Villa Roma and the people who make Jehovah Nissi their home.  

In the Daniel fast, prayer time is easier, the word is clearer, and the presence of God dearer.

Okay, just a little word about the physical changes:  I am eight pounds lighter, my energy is better, my mind is clearer, and I am more alert. 

I won’t lie to you, I miss my daily caramel latte.  I would also like a marshmallow crème long john, and I do miss meat.  What has surprised me is that soda pop no longer appeals to me.  I’ve never liked drinking just water.  Now, I enjoy it.

 

As I said last week, another benefit is that my taste buds are alive once more. 

It’s going good.  I have to think a little bit before I buy foods, but overall, it’s something I think I can do for another 36 days.     

DOING THE DANIEL FAST THING

I want to drop a line or two about what is happening in my life of late. I haven’t written a blog for a long time because I’ve become extremely busy, and without internet access at home, it is very difficult to upload what I write. I’m going to try to update my status every week as I work my way through the Daniel fast. This makes my first Daniel fast. My daughter came to visit two weeks ago and was talking about how the Church they attend had done one. She didn’t even say more than one sentence, but it went deep into me. I’ve dismissed Daniel fasts in the past as being wimpy, and meaningless. Now here I was being convicted about it. So, I went out bought a book about it, prayed about it, and listened for what the Holy Spirit wanted me to do. A week passed by, and I did a one week partial fast, (something I’ve done numerous times.) It was good, but as I was praying, I kept hearing that internal unction to do more. MORE? I still hadn’t become convinced that a Daniel fast could be more effective than a normal fast. Then, the night before Passover (Good Friday) the Holy Spirit put the hammer down.
Okay, a Daniel fast it will be.
 HOW LONG GOD?
When is Pentecost?
 Dang, I googled it.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
FIFTY DAYS!!!!!!! (This is typical of my internal dialogues with the Holy Spirit, He prods, I grouse, He asks, I do. You’d think I’d learn to simply do and then grouse.)
Okay, fifty days it is.
I began Monday. So, after one week, what has it been like? Wonderful!!!!!! Instead of telling you what I can’t eat, what I miss, and how I’m suffering for the cause of Christ, let me tell you what is really happening. (Everybody likes sympathy.)
I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time.
I don’t fall asleep right after eating.
My body feels comfortable on me. (I am a spirit being in an earthsuit.)
I’ve lost 6 pounds as of this morning. I’ve already gone down one notch on my belt.
My taste buds are alive once more. (I’m amazed at how salt and sugar have clouded my sense of taste.)
My liver isn’t hurting me as it has in the past.
My prayers seem more effective, and my bible reading time is more introspective.
 So why am I doing this? I mean nobody fasts for no reason at all, right? Well actually the Holy Spirit is the main reason I’m doing this. He wouldn’t let me alone about it. I’d fasted during the Passion week, so that I could identify with Christ, and that felt good. Now I’m fasting because of the Holy Spirit, and I feel good. So, here are a few things on my fasting prayer list. About five of our church members are going to Nicaragua this summer, and I won’t be with them. They are the core of my prayer time. I have a couple of things I’d like to see done in our church fellowship, so I’ve been praying for that. I’ve also been in a little bit of a bad place spiritually for about five months, and I want to see that issue resolved. (It’s something only the Holy Spirit can do.) My wife, Glenda asked me a poignant question during this week. “What will you do after the fast?” I don’t know. I like where I’m at right now. Let’s talk about it at the end of the fast. For the moment, I don’t have an answer for her, maybe add a little bit of meat and cheese to my salads, treat myself to Mexican food once a week, and go back to drinking coffee again. (I love a good latte`) Soda pop will be gone, and deep fried foods are history. I’m still trying to find a good way to put back the protein in my diet. I don’t like most legumes, so I’m praying for a good answer. My worst time came this morning when I went to buy donuts for the Men’s Bible study group. The maple long john with marshmallow cream was screaming at me. Nah! For right now, I’m feeling good, and I’m glad the Holy Spirit talked me into it. NUFF SAID.

Updating the Sparrow

I am in the process of updating my blogs, and it seems only fitting that I begin with this blog. From the very beginning, the Sparrow’s Perch was intended to be a deeply personal blog about my faith life. I wanted the opportunity to share those wonderful moments of divine peace that can only be found in the Presence of God. The Sparrow’s Perch is a wonderful outlet for me, but I find myself wishing for more time to complete other endeavors. For a long time, I've been promising to let you know how the idea for the Sparrow's Perch came about. So, here it is. The idea for the Sparrow’s Perch came to me as I began to think about the end of my days upon this mortal vale, and whether I’d done anything to advance the Kingdom of God. Writing the blog has allowed me to empty myself of regrets, share experiences that might help someone else, and to declare the awesomeness of God. Most of all I wanted to impart the knowledge that there is a place in Christ where we can live in peace with this life, and the life to come. The title is based upon Psalms 91. Our Pastor encouraged us to read the Psalm as part of our daily bible reading as an encouragement to live in the peace of God. I haven’t always lived in the peace of God, and I haven’t always liked Psalms 91. As time went by, I actually began to despise the Psalm because it didn’t ring true with me. The promises seemed empty, and hollow against the harsh realities of my life. I watched in horror as people who I knew loved the Lord, suffered, became deathly ill, were left destitute, and saw their mortal tent swept away by unending storms. I became completely disheartened, refusing to read it anymore when a dear brother in the Lord fell victim to a brain tumor. I wanted to believe the promises, but battled with the reality. Then…I went to Nicaragua, and everything changed. It would take a book to explain what happened to me in Nicaragua. Suffice it to say, I was overcome with love, passion, and a sense of helplessness in the face of so much need. The circumstances in my life hadn’t changed. A matter of fact, when I came back, I came back to a home that was falling down around me, with little chance of ever having the money to repair, or build another one, but I didn’t care, because I’d seen people living in conditions much worse than mine. I came home to my wife’s vehicle refusing to start no matter what we did, with no financial means to repair, or buy another one. I wanted to be upset, but there were pastors in Nicaragua who didn’t have a vehicle at all. I also came home to a mass of credit card debt so daunting, I didn’t know if I could ever pay it off. The stuff I owned felt like chains to me, especially in light of what I saw in Nicaragua. In Nicaragua, many pastors live day to day, without many of the things I’d sold my soul to buy. It was in this moment of profound internal conflict, that I saw my own life measured in the mirror of those whose lives seem less encumbered. I had a realization of what I’d been missing for so long. I went into my office at the church, opened the window, and heard the song of the sparrows as they danced in the water on the flat roof. The undeniable truth was, I’d chosen the comfort of this life over the presence of God. It was in this moment I cried out, “God either kill me, or let me feel you once more as a raging fire in my life.” Instead, He did something I was unprepared for. He filled me with the most amazing peace I’ve ever known. The struggle was over. The sparrow had meaning to me. I understood Psalm 91 better than I ever had. So, without going verse by verse and boring you to tears, let me say this. Just imagine Moses sitting outside the Tabernacle watching the procession of offerings, which are the business of forgiveness, and spying a tiny sparrow flying into the Holy of Holies. Within the courtyard of the tabernacle, it has no fear of the fowler, it has no fear of the arrow, it has no fear of disease, or pestilence. The presence of God is not a place, it is a mindset. We can go there no matter where we are. The world may be falling down around us, our bodies may be racked with pain, wars may rage, evil may abound, but there is a place of refuge, a tent for shelter, and a fortress from the storms of life. There is a place we can live in peace with everything around us, and that place is called the Presence of God. I don’t care how long you’ve lived for Christ, or how much you think you know, if you’ve not found the place in your heart where the Presence of God is, then you are missing out on the best promises of God. Since that first trip to Nicaragua, God has continued to provide in miraculous ways. I still have a home that is falling down around my ears, my wife has a vehicle that barely runs, but we did manage to pay off all of our debt. I’ve made four trips to Nicaragua, and my wife has made two. Last year, in a moment of weakness, I questioned the need to go again. The money it takes to go is substantial in ways that I don’t want to address in this blog. As I drove home one afternoon, shortly before our last trip, I was grousing about a sudden drop off in my business. “I’ll just stop going.” I muttered. “It’s just becoming too hard.” The reply leapt into my spirit, “NO, I’ve propelled you to love, don’t shrink back.” There are so many wonderful people there, who mean so much to me. There is still work to be done, and I believe that we are still going to be a part of the work there. So, I’ll continue to go, until God impresses on me that I no longer need to go. I will run this race until my legs can’t run any longer. Now it is important to me to finish stronger than I began. There are people who need the love God has given me. There are people who need to know the meaning of the Sparrow’s Perch. At the end of our days, all that we have earned, and everything we valued is left behind. It is only what we have inside of us that will go with us through the veil. You see, that is what Moses saw, the little Sparrow could go boldly before the throne of grace, flying easily into the presence of God. The Sparrow’s Prayer; May you know the presence of God, and the joy of grace as I know it. May you know the full salvation of Christ Jesus, and live in the light of His love, free from the cares of this world. May you live in the Presence of God, and know His tender heart as I do.

Do You Not Care That We Perish?

As I'm writing this, storm clouds are brewing, the wind is whipping, and my weather radar is showing a broad band of thunderstorms racing across the state. It reminded me of one of my favorite stories in the bible. In Matthew chapter eight, and verse 25, Jesus had finished teaching, and needed to get away.  What better place than to hop in a boat, and cast off.  The rocking of the waves, the warm sun, and suddenly your asleep.  While the Son of God slept within the fragile bowels of a tiny boat, a fierce storm comes up, and before you know it, the boat is about to sink.  I love the reaction of the disciples, "Master, Master, we perish."   Jesus slams them for their lack of faith, and calms the storm.  End of story, Jesus is God, rules the sea, and commands the winds.  What I love about the story is the unsaid dialogue.

Jesus never invited, nor demanded the disciples to get in the boat with Him, they followed Him.  We who follow Christ, seek always to be in His presence, that is why we FOLLOW Him.  I love the Presence of God.  He is everything I long for.  What we often don't take into consideration is the price of following Him.

I've heard many sermons on this passage, most dealing with the issue of faith. That would be my logical choice for teaching about faith.  I've heard it taught, He was rebuking them for not rebuking the storm themselves.  I've heard it taught, He was rebuking them for waking Him.  I've heard it taught, He was rebuking them for not having faith in Him.

It's hard for us from our vantage point to see the unsaid language that was happening.

Jesus got in the boat to be alone, to get away.
The storm arose while He was sleeping.
HE WAS IN THE SAME BOAT, THEY WERE IN!!!!!!!!
He was sleeping through the storm, but it was such a fierce storm, seasoned fishermen feared for their lives.
They had to wake HIM in order to save themselves.

In the midst of our storms, there is a tendency to forget that Jesus is in our tiny ship.  He is inside of us.  The storms that buffet us, buffet Him.  Still, the overriding point is; Jesus is in the midst of the storm with us.  We are going to be in storms in our lives.  These mortal frames, temporary tents, tiny ships, are subject to the storms around us.  Still, in the midst of them, we can have the peace of God.  Why?   Because, we have the Presence of God, His precious Spirit abiding in us.  It is our natural tendency to find a reason for the things that happen in our lives.  As Christians we especially want to make our trials, and tribulations have some kind of purpose.  We'll evaluate the storm, look at what came out of it, and then proclaim the lesson we learned.

LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT LESSONS!  Sometimes it's jumping in a boat, and following this guy named Jesus even when it takes us to the point of physical death.  We miss the entire point of the voyage, we wanted to be with Jesus, so we followed Him.  Death is death, financial ruin is financial ruin, illness is illness, life is life.  The only difference between how a Christian goes through it, is that Christians have Jesus in the boat. What you do with that knowledge is what determines what your life will feel like.

The Presence of God is all that I long for, so I would jump in the boat with him, I'd probably be just like the disciples when the storm came, except hind sight being 20/20, I'd have at least stood upon the prow of the ship, raised one arm toward the storm, pointed toward the bowels of the ship with the other, and yelled out: "Hey, shut up you silly storm, don't you know the Master is trying to sleep."